Would like to hear other English teacher’s perspectives on this. To give a bit of context, I’m 33 years old and moved to Japan 3 years ago as an ALT for a new experience. Now obviously English teachers do not make much money and this has been a huge problem in my experience when trying to find a Japanese female partner. I’ve been on dates where I can visibly see the vibe change when I say I teach English.
I completely fell in love with an absolutely stunningly gorgeous 37 year old woman and we had a really passionate and steamy relationship for half a year and even discussed potential marriage. We had a real connection and many shared hobbies.She obviously knew I was an English teacher (on the JET program), but I recently explained to her that for foreigners, the jobs we can do are limited and competitive, and after JET if I cannot find a better job I will have to continue doing English teaching (and likely a pay cut) until I eventually can. The next week she broke up with me saying money and security being her main concern long term. (BTW I always paid for all dates and things like that so I wasn’t giving off a cheap vibe or anything). This experience has left me crushed. I understand her concerns entirely but I feel like most Japanese woman prioritize money over everything, even love.
From reading this Reddit, I know many ALTs and Eikaiwa teachers are happily married to a Japanese woman. Would like to hear your perspective on this. Because from my experience, when a Japanese woman sees you are teaching English in your 30’s they run for the hills even if they like you as a person and physically because they value money and security above all else. Sometimes I wonder if the issue is that I like beautiful women and am not willing to settle for a woman I am not attracted to.
So for those of you that found love in Japan as an English teacher, how do your significant others feel about your job? Right now my heart is completely gutted and broken. I like Japan and would like to stay and ideally be in a relationship, but I worry that Japanese women just really don't value love and the bank account is the determining factor. I don’t fault them for that because it is understandable, it just makes me sad because I lost someone who felt perfect for me.
by Open-Future9642