I lived on the outskirts of Tokyo for a few years in my early 20's on a US military base. I enjoyed my time there, but was looking forward to moving on to new adventures due to personal reasons.
Fast forward 6 years, and I'm living back in the US. I'm married (met my wife in Japan although she's not Japanese) and we are raising our young children. My wife speaks fluent Japanese as a third language and has family still living there. My work situation in the US is almost too good. I work fully remote only a few days a week and make great money.
I've just been feeling extremely dissatisfied with the US. Maybe it's actually changed for the worse, or maybe living in Japan changed my perspective on it. I know Japan has it's drawbacks, but there's so many things about the US I just can't stand.The abundance of disrespectful people and horrible drivers, the exorbitant cost of housing and food, the uneasy concern of safety for my family, etc. I could retire tomorrow with my military pension and move to Japan. I wouldn't need to work, and am in a situation where we can sort out our residency there pretty easily.
My concern is that I move back to Japan and a few months down the line the honeymoon phase starts to wear off. I don't want to uproot our entire life to plan a new on in Japan, only to realize that it's not as amazing as I remember (drawbacks considered). Have any of you made the move, have lived there for a long time, and have zero regrets?
by Major_Weird_2510
10 comments
The only issues I see is because you’re not Japanese you might not be fully accepted over there. Other than that I would do anything to leave the USA. I no longer recognize the values of this country and the general attitudes of the people here
Hahaha this is my same boat, except w/o the military component (I’m quite jealous of your retirement option LOL). I absolutely get the dissatisfaction w/ the US, especially in recent years, but yeah–I’m in a similar position–well-paid, fully remote gig, decent house in a good school district… and I keep thinking about moving my family back to Japan, because life here just doesn’t feel all that great, for a variety of reasons.
I dunno; I have no answers. Really struggling with the same internal debate. For me, it’s tempered a bit by the fact that my partner is more hesitant than I am. She *is* increasingly nervous about the fact that we live in a red state, and that things in general (politically, culturally, socially) seem to be getting worse, rather than better.
>I could retire tomorrow with my military pension and move to Japan.
On what visa? There’s no retirement visa in Japan.
First and foremost, you need to figure out what visa you’re gonna use to actually stay in the country. If your wife was a Japanese citizen, then it would be easier. But if she’s not, you will need to do more research on your options.
But to your main question, that is the great risk of life. Many of us face this crossroads at some point. Whether to stay where you are, or leave for a new adventure. It is especially more vital when you have a family, and are responsible for several lives. That’s soul searching only you (and your family) can answer.
Yeah same, make a lot but everything costs a lot so net even what I would save in Japan. Public transportation and safety are the tits out there, so really hard to justify staying here…
Personally for me, no. It was mostly because of cultural fit(I realized I just prefer western culture and work culture in US/EU), work reasons (hitting a wall in japan without very good japanese N1 actually be functional, limited work options, bias against non-japanese no matter how good your Japanese is..ex. turned down from jobs because not native level..turned down from apartments, low software engineer salaries, low vacation days & no sick days, minashi zangyo, etc) and weather (I hate summer weather in Japan and I like colder climates).
I got to N2 level and got a job offer, but I turned it down. I do think Japan is a nice place to live though, maybe as a nomad or if my spouse was Japanese, but I didn’t see myself growing old there or want to raise children there.
Japan just didn’t fit **for me** personally and I prefered it as a vacation destination. If you are moving for political reasons though, Japan probably isn’t the place imo its a very very conservative country (as in always on the lower end of the totem pole if you are gaijin) if that matters. Others move here and are fine with the cons and never want to leave (usually have a Japanese partner/kids in japan), so **ymmv**.
> things about the US I just can’t stand.The abundance of disrespectful people and horrible drivers, the exorbitant cost of housing and food, the uneasy concern of safety for my family, etc.
Nice thing about the US is that there are 49 other states. Also west EU is an option with an easier culture to fit in to and easier language. I’m sure you already know this but there are also horrible drivers in japan, rude people in Japan and on an average japanese salary with kids, money is tight for the average japanese and people do penny pinch. Sure, Japan is pretty safe though and has great public transit and good food (I would worry if I had a daughter though with the blantant sexism and being groped on the trains though).
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If you can find a job on US bases, it would be great and many things would be easier for you because you don’t have to deal with Japanese bureaucracy otherwise it’s No for me personally
Are you planning to move somewhere with a large expat community? Do you speak Japanese?
I have seen a lot of military guys both succeed and burn out living here.
From what I’ve seen it comes down to language/friends. The guys who have stayed either speak fluent Japanese, or live where there are lots of English speaking expats.
In the countryside where I live I have seen quite a few guys get out of the military, move into my city, and not know Japanese and leave within a couple years.
You say you have young kids, how old are they and what’s your plan for their schooling? If you need or want international schools, that’s going to cost a lot and affect your quality of life.
My husband and I are both Americans (no family or cultural ties to Japan) and we moved here with a young kid. In general it’s been good for our family, but it has been hard. Especially for my husband who doesn’t speak the language. He’s isolated and his career has taken a huge hit. But after several years now he’s managed to make some English speaking friends and has created more ties to our community.
One of the biggest drawbacks can be financial. Especially if you have kids. Families are having a tough time with the rising costs of food and basics and the stagnant salaries.