I've been working on improving my Japanese conversation skills — especially in terms of sounding more natural and being able to respond in real-time.
One thing I keep running into is this weird moment where I think I'm following the flow of the conversation, but then my response seems to throw things off or lead to dead air.
For example, a native speaker might say something like:
「けんくんは、いつも教室をサボっているんだ。悪い人だよ。」
And I replied with:
「悪い人ですか？」
I was trying to show I'm listening and encourage her to elaborate. But instead, she went quiet and didn’t follow up. No expansion, just kind of… shifted topics.
This has happened a few times. I’ll repeat part of what someone said or ask for confirmation (like a 「そうなんですか？」or 「〜ですか？」) — and I get silence.
My guess is that I’m misreading the social cue. Maybe:
- Asking 「悪い人ですか？」sounds like I’m doubting her judgment, even though I meant it as a prompt.
- I should have just given a sympathetic response instead of turning it into a question.
- I’m not matching the tone or emotional stance she expected from me in that moment.
I’m wondering how other learners have handled this. Do you ever feel like your active listening should encourage the other person to keep going, but somehow it doesn’t land? What do you do to keep the conversation flowing naturally, especially when emotions or personal opinions are involved?
Curious to hear others’ experiences or what worked for you. This kind of stuff feels like the invisible layer of fluency I didn’t even know I needed to study.
by neworleans-