There’s a phrase I keep circling back to:
👉 「それはどう思いますか？」
It sounds simple — but in real conversations, I’ve felt it land in very different ways.
🧭 Sometimes it feels like a deflection
Like I’m handing the question back, not answering it.
“Wait… I asked you — why are you asking me now?”
In those moments, it can come off as evasive or even a bit annoying.
🧭 But other times, I mean something gentler
What I really want is clarity — especially when something might be misheard, or something emotional is left unsaid.
It’s not about dodging. It’s about checking:
Are we seeing this the same way? Did something get lost in translation — literally or emotionally?
🌸 One small moment that stuck with me
A teacher once asked, “Are you married?”
I laughed and said: 「それはご想像にお任せします」 — trying to keep things light.
Later, I circled back with:
「ちなみに、さっきの質問、どう思いましたか？」
She replied:
“You said 主人, so I assumed you meant husband… so you're married?”
And that’s when I realized:
“Ah — sorry! I didn’t mean 主人. I meant 友人.” 😅
That one small check-in helped surface a vocabulary slip I wouldn’t have noticed otherwise.
❓So here’s what I’d love your take on:
Is there a way to use 「それはどう思いますか？」without sounding like I’m dodging?
Or:
Is there a more natural or culturally comfortable way to check in — to gently ask, “How did that land for you?” — without overstepping or deflecting?
If you’ve navigated these kinds of moments — sidestepping a question without shutting down the warmth — I’d love to hear what worked.
Even a phrase or one-liner would be a huge help.
Thanks in advance. 🙏
by neworleans-