I've been in Japan for close to a decade, I turn 30 soon and I am feeling lonelier than ever. Just hard to meet genuine people without all that facade and pretense and people who stay your friends for more than one season. I go to the gym, practice an instrument, read books, have skills and a solid job (civilian), but I haven't found my people here and frankly the only thing keeping me here is the shithole my own country has become or always been and the difficulty of immigrating elsewhere.
EDIT: Yeah I speak fairly good Japanese too and I know the cultural nuances and trust me they are all good until you realize how much they keep relationships with other people superficial most of the time. It doesn't help with getting to really know people.
by Important-Cow-6810
11 comments
Let me guess … you’re French? 🤔😂
You got a hobby that involves other people?
I wish I could hangout with u bro but I’m from mainland Japan …
island fever. i couldnt imagine being there for that long.
What part of the island you on? I’m in the south, living in Naha, and I feel the same way. 35m and a lot of my friends were military who have since moved back to the states. If you’re anywhere nearby then send me a DM and maybe we can meet up. Hobbies include drinking, darts, and tennis, used to do tabletop RPG but hard to find consistent people for that.
that’s tragic. Let’s help you out! Here’s some social groups you’ll find and some generalizations about the people in it so you could choose your next activity and group.
vegans: there’s a surprising amount of them and they’re all nice despite all the mean tattoos. A lot of locals like to dabble in vegan stuff too so you’ll meet a ton of prospects and look hella cool teaching them about lettuce.
tattoo people: they like art so that’s cool. They also like looking cool, but the having to wear black t-shirts does make you a few degrees hotter.
buff tattoo people: tattoo people but without shirts. Good group if you don’t own black t-shirts.
joggers: there’s absolutely no standard technique for jogging so you could just let your arms do whatever. Not sure if this is a social activity.
road cyclists: i’m sure they’re nice, but they never wave back when i wave at them in a kei truck full of mountain bikes. So if you don’t like waving back, but like colorful expensive clothes, pretty solid group.
hashers: pretty positive group, which i think is very important because i’m worried about some of them.
stroller moms: not sure what they’re up to, but I doubt it’s good.
english teachers: if you like listening to people complain, pretty solid group.
entrepreneurs: they’re bilingual usually and very confident. Very good for validating your ideas.
sure there’s more, so i invite the community to help. And hope you find some solid friends.
My plan to avoid loneliness in Okinawa is to try to get involved in my local community center, either by taking part in events or volunteering.
Do you dabble into the nerdy culture because we need long-term friends here too since we’ve also been here for almost a decade as well but have a bit of trouble clicking with others.
Why dont you consider travelling? Plenty cheap flights from okinawa to other countries in SEA. Plenty to do here.
I’d suggest you try eisaa. Sousaku variety is a bit more open, due to age. But it’s a good hobby to get to know people.
Go to Bailando on gate 2 at 8pm on Wednesdays for a begginers dancing class, no experience needed and you get to meet new people too, I made some friends when I was there.
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