I apologize in advance if this seems all over the place, but I myself am trying to understand how I’m feeling because it seems that I have no one to turn to.
Quick background:
For many years I’ve always dreamed of studying abroad, and I was able to do so earlier this year for about 4 months at a university in Japan. Though I initially planned on studying there for 4 years, that quickly came to an end after experiencing extreme self-doubt, isolation, and depression. I initially transferred to a university close to home, but because I struggled to figure out what exactly I want to study, I am now at my local community college on their associate of arts transfer pathway. along with my interest in marketing, international studies, and business related hobbies, it makes sense for me to go for a degree in international business or something related.
Moving onto my current struggles:
I keep coming back to this idea that I want to study in Japan again. I keep convincing myself that I will have a better plan, I won’t be happier if I stay home, and I’ll have more money saved up, but I don’t know if I am making the right choice because I’m already in 20k of student debt, and my dad does not believe that I can succeed on my own financially. From the way things are turning out with the COE, it looks like I won’t even have the opportunity to return until next fall. One of the things I’m fighting myself on is whether or not it’s better to focus on paying off my student debt, or use the money I save up for this opportunity. I have a strong feeling that it could work out better this time, but am I just setting myself up for financial difficulties after college? Thinking about how much I could save with my current job by August, I could pay off all of my student debt. But that would only be temporary since I’ll have to rely on student loans once again when I transfer to university in the states.
I just feel like no matter what, I have such a hard time making up my mind and sticking to a decision.
by alleysakura