Comprehensive list of 1000 reasons why EVIL is the biggest Chad in New Japan

1. objectively the biggest wrestling gothic sex god since Ministry Undertaker

2. is always either a champion or in the title picture

3. has magnificent cheekbones

4. only man (alongside Raven, Dennis Rodman and Roddy Piper) to make a skirt look cool

5. undisputed drip god, master of the "corporate goth" look

6. was a Triple Champion at one point

7-982. dated Iyo Sky

1. actually a great leader, cares for his boys

2. former World Champion

3. made a fucking STO into a believable finisher

4. Meltzer and his stooges hate him, which automatically makes him cooler

5. has a fucked up hairline, still hot as shit

6. is thick but also goth, which is a big no-no, but still somehow makes it work

7. only real heel in the company

8. one of the best pure brawlers in the business when he's on his game

9. loved and hated for the right reasons SIMULTANEOUSLY

10. has high key had the best aesthetic in the company since debut (tarot, scorpions, Guns N' Roses)

11. President of New Japan

12. doesn't have a name, he is just EVIL

13. best theme in the fucking company

14. every feud he has actually carries stakes, not just "let's wrestle"

15. paints titles black

16. been the leader of HOT for 4 years, nobody has turned on him

17. kicked those War Puppies out of Bullet Club

18. remember that