Hi all,
I’ll try to keep this short.
I (F) dated a Japanese man for over 3 years while both living abroad in the same country. From the start, I told him I was serious about marriage, he said he was serious too. He seemed sweet and caring, but over time he showed another side, whenever we disagreed, he’d stonewall me for days or even weeks. It was emotionally painful, and I repeatedly explained how damaging that was. It also seems the marriage promise was fake.
After I moved to Japan (he stayed behind), the stonewalling got worse. I was exhausted from constantly being the one to fix things. When I once reached out for emotional support (during PMS/work stress), he called me “unstable.” The constant emotional neglect and manipulation eventually broke me, I attempted suicide once during a fight, regretted it immediately, and reached out for help.
After that, he acted supportive for a while. But when I told him I had a tumor and needed surgery, he broke up with me. Later, when he came to Japan, I picked him up from the airport out of kindness, only for him to send me threatening emails accusing me of “trespassing” for staying at his family’s home (which his own family told me to stay in). He was basically misusing the law to intimidate me despite knowing my health condition. All of that to avoid a conversation with me.
During my surgery and recovery, he never apologized, never checked on me, and painted me as the villain to his family (they know the truth and scolded him). He insists he owes me no explanation or closure since we weren’t married and my family isn't involved. He also said that he should cut ties with the people who use his family to reach their goals? (his family said I'm the one who is being used here since I was a big help to the family than he ever was to the point that they'd say we don't care if he's back home or not, we want you to stay.)
It’s been 7 months since all this, and I’m still struggling with the trauma. I'm still going to therapy to help me process this. I’m not looking for revenge, I just want accountability. Is there any way, legally or civilly (in Japan), to hold someone accountable for this kind of emotional abuse, harassment, or psychological harm?
🙁
Let me know if there is a better sub for this kind of questions.
by Educational_End_8719