Safety tips for a woman living alone

6 comments

1. You can get mace, a taser or expandable baton. I don’t think you’ll need it though. Japan has its creeps but they’re usually not violent.

2. I’m an American woman who has lived in Japan in my wild 20s and working mom 40s (to give you context of where I’m coming from). I’ve been here for over seven years now. 

   In general, I find Japan very safe. I have never been harassed, stalked or groped (unlike my home country, where I’ve been harassed frequently and been in some dangerous situations). Plenty of going out to bars, walking home by myself after midnight, commuting daily, etc without issue. 

   However, Japan is not some sort of paradise where women don’t have to worry about these things, and obviously women do get harassed, groped, etc. Follow normal “woman rules”— don’t accept rides from strangers, don’t walk down unfamiliar streets by yourself at night, keep an eye on your surroundings, watch your drinks, etc. 

   The main thing is don’t feel the need to put yourself in uncomfortable situations to appear “polite.” I’ve seen some foreign women put up with sketchy or even downright dangerous situations because they believe that the Japanese person is just being polite and it’s some sort of “cultural misunderstanding.” If you feel uncomfortable, don’t feel like you have to continue talking to someone, accepting gifts from them, etc. If some dude is creeping you out on the train, move or call them out (depending on the behavior).

   And in general avoid getting a first floor apartment. I’ve never carried anything for protection (and some of those things can be illegal to carry in Japan).

3. Guy here, so not sure, how good my advice is…

   Choose an apartment with a video doorbell, add a safety chain to the door if it is not already there, and close off the door’s peephole if it has one. If the lock is old style, you sometimes can ask for a better door lock cylinder (you pay); talk to the agency if you’re not sure. These very old style “MIWA” locks can be opened by a rookie lock picker in a couple of seconds, while the new ones should last ten minutes; time enough to call the cops.

   Scout out your neighbourhood and your commute for safe spaces like restaurants, hotels, convenience stores etc, where there are people and cameras, so you know where to go when something feels fishy (don’t run home and show whoever may be following you where you live).

   However, my wife never felt unsafe here even walking home through some parks after midnight. I think, it never occurred to her to carry anything for self-defence. But she said that she feels safer when she has our dog on her side.

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5. I’ve lived in Japan for fifteen years. Been female the whole time. It’s the safest place I’ve lived.

   I’ve had a couple of uncomfortable moments when dating (I think my drink was spiked one time, but I came to in time to avert disaster). Unfortunately, I think some men think Western girls are easy, and some men think drinks or dinner equates to sex, but I don’t think Japan is unique in this. Much as I wish the world were kinder.

   I have basically never been harassed or assaulted in Japan. I’ve lived in countryside, suburb and big city. People tend to keep themselves to themselves. As elsewhere, you’ll always be safer in busy places where there are plenty of eyes on you and any potential harasser.

6. I’ve lived here 10 years, these are just some of the things I’ve learned. Don’t live on the ground floor. Ideally live somewhere where there’s a door to your building that’s locked before anyone can reach your apartment door. If you do have to live on the ground floor I wouldn’t put your underwear to dry outside, I have friends that have bought a pair of boxers that they hang on the balcony to make it look like a guy lives there too, or visits regularly.

   On crowded trains be careful. A lot of people here saying Japan is safe, and it is, but the sexual harassment is unlike what you may be used to in your home county. The few times I’ve been groped I’ve not realised until it’s been too late. Some may say, then well is that groping, well, it’s a different kind. Like in the west they may grab and squeeze your ass in a nightclub. Here, it’s a crowded train on your way to work and you feel like the corner of a briefcase keeps digging into your ass, but it follows you no matter where you move. That’s the back of someone’s hand, and they’ve been touching you the whole half hour.

   Don’t retaliate except to grab their hand and move them away from you. Best is to take evidence and keep that as your ammo instead because self defence is not the norm here. That doesn’t mean you should take the abuse, but you will be the losing party so if you can get off the train, do. As a foreigner I also think it’s ok to shout back at the person, not touching. If it’s a Japanese guy they’ll panic as they’re not used to their victims making a scene back at them. But I would not put my hands on them except to get them off me. It’s often not worth taking to the police for anything less serious than substantial sexual harassment, and even just grabbing someone’s clothes can mean an arrest for assault. Even if someone else started it. All my friends that have gone to the police for stalking or groping have got nowhere.

   Again not to say, like be scared of coming here? It’s just a different culture. Be aware that if you go out drinking, drink spiking and date rape drugs do exist out here too – just be as wary as you would be at home. It’s not safe because it’s Japan, it’s just another country with its own different dangers. But it also means that your retaliation style would need to change with the culture too, and getting violent is usually not the way unless it’s very serious. Better remove yourself from the situation and get somewhere safe asap instead.

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