I saw a similar last name question posted here the other day and have one of my own, but from a different perspective? I’ll be getting married soon, but my husband-to-be (JP) wants to relinquish his last name and take mine instead. He’s got other siblings who will carry on the family name, and for other messed-up family member reasons really dislikes his own last name. I’ve always loved my last name and never felt that I wanted to change it, but after being in Japan for 15 years and hearing and seeing the discrimination happen to both adults and kids over their foreign last name, and having friends who have married (all men who married JP women) whose wives have taken their last names, I was wondering if any else has gone the other route like my HTB wants to, and what their husband’s experiences have been like.
For the record, because of discrimination issues I’ve considered changing mine to his for our future kids, but when he said he wanted to take my name, it was very unexpected. I had no idea that’s how he felt and was kinda shocked. I’ve suggested not changing his name while I keep my own, at least for the time being since we may have to move back to my country to take care of my aging parents for a while. But we both know we want to live in Japan in the long run, so at some point we’ll definitely be moving back.
Despite all this he insists he wants to change his last name to mine, no doubt in his mind. I love that he loves my family so much and that he wants so much to take my family name. But he’s only ever been a tourist abroad, the longest stay being 5 weeks with my family in the US. He’s never lived abroad nor experienced discrimination in any way. Am I being overly concerned about the name-thing or is he in for a rude awakening considering all these circumstances as a Japanese dude taking his foreign wife’s last name and living in Japan?
by kioko110