Hello everyone, I am currently doing my undergrad for engineering under an english program in Tokyo. I have been feeling really depressed lately and basically Im feeling the disillusioned gaijin phenomenon. I dont ever have time to learn japanese and Im constantly feeling like japanese people dont want anything to do with me. Ive had so many bad experiences with speaking japanese to people online(racism, rudeness) that it has gotten to the point where im scared to speak japanese. I dont have any close friends in uni either and I dont really connect with anyone in my major. I keep feeling like it was a mistake to do uni here and I feel like im stuck here for the next 4 years. I dont have anyone i can talk to and I dont wanna go to the counselor because I dont wanna be known as the gaijin with mental issues. I dont really want to live anymore either tho. What can I do? How can I undo this terrible life decision?
by Supercritical_Ball