Me (36M) and my wife (36F) had our son when we were 27 back in 2017. Such a surprise and we have been blessed in this. He is 8 this month.
But over the years we have had three pregnancies (final was via a clinic) but all ended in misscarriage. The ultrasound showed a heart beat, next check up nothing.
It has really devastated us. My wife and I are over the BMI 30 “limit” Japan has but we found a hospital that specializes in misscarriages and supports higher BMI pregnancy (they say, but they are still trying ways to convince my wife to lose weight first)
My wife has lost 5kg and me about the same but we will be forty before hitting the 25 BMI mark. They keep twlling us “you’re young” but 8 years have passed with nothing. And the longer you wait the higher the chance of other complications. My wife cries every week and I cant comfort her 🙁
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How do we do this? Should we go back to the states (me: US citizen)?
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Any help or advice for doing this in Japan?
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We considered adoption but right now I am working away from home during the week for the next few years (actually, bought a house in an environment more suited to my wife for her needs and our sons) but they need parents who sleep/wakeup together (their words)
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Surrogacy…in an ideal world…but no. This is too much to ask anyone for the measly compensation our middle-class life would be able to provide.
/sigh… anybodybbeen through this?
by tynkerd