10 Days in Tokyo & Kawaguchiko with 15 months daughter and extended family

Hello all, this is a trip report of 10 days in Tokyo with my wife and a 15 month old daughter, my brother, and my parents. I have been hesitant to write this due to my discomfort of the tourist overcrowding in Tokyo, but I figured that this could be helpful for parents with young children, and also to help travelers be more aware when visiting. I know this may come across as gatekeeping, but I myself had been reflecting throughout the trip of how I perceived other foreigners, and how I wanted myself to be perceived. I hope this helps us to enjoy Japan without being an irritant on their way of life. 

After the near-perfect honeymoon I enjoyed with my wife 2 years ago detailed here, I had not planned to return to Japan so soon. However, my parents turn 70 this year and they buggered us numerous times to go to Japan, generously offering to pay for airfare and accommodations. My wife and I had not been keen as we have a 15 month old and it would be a nightmare to take a 7 hour flight with her. We eventually agreed out of love for my parents.

What has changed since two years ago: 

1. We now have a very active 15-month old daughter.  She can’t sit still on cars or train rides for too long. She takes one 45m nap a day.  We talked about either going to Fukuoka or Tokyo. Most families would avoid Tokyo. But given the fact that my daughter is very active, we felt that the itinerary being primarily scenic-based would be stressful as it would mean taking long car rides often. Also, it would mean that the entire group had to travel together, making it stressful for us as my extended family might have to cater to our baby’s needs. However, given my familiarity with Tokyo, I could plan split itineraries, i.e. days when my parents and brother could do something, while we did something more child-friendly. 
2. We had become more aware about ultra processed foods, which completely changed our desire to pig out at the combinis. Yes, Japan’s combinis are still some of the best, boasting a wider variety of fresher foods. But, we would now only eat packaged combini foods as a last resort (incidentally, I received a text from a friend during the trip that most combini eggs are just yolk and lots of other chemicals, not real eggs!).
3. I had started learning Japanese on Duolingo since my honeymoon ended. This is more than 2 years of Japanese input. As poor as it is for language learning, it still enabled me to read and speak rudimentary Japanese. 
4. We did some research on family friendly restaurants beforehand, but did not hard-code it into the itinerary. Based on our previous experience, there’s a lot of walking to do in Tokyo, and sometimes we underestimate how far a place is, or how easy it is to find the place. As far as possible, we’d try to eat at places that we pass by.

Pre-trip preparations:

• Did the Japan travel QR code 
• Downloaded Go and Uber and verified my number before flying. This is important if you plan to use an e-sim. You will not be able to easily verify your number in Japan as your local number will not in use with an e-sim, and so you cannot easily get an SMS verification required to use the app. 
• Noted down a list of things I wanted to get/stock up on before the trip. Knowing that I had a young child, it would not be possible to just do window shopping. 
• Booked Ghibli museum tickets 1 month before hand, also made reservations for Tokyo Toy Museum. 
• Child accessories: a bag of new toys borrowed from a friend to entertain my daughter on long rides. Food containers to store eggs and fruits as snacks. 

Day 0 

• I pre-booked via airport taxi transfers, a car that was big enough for 6 people with 6 medium-sized luggages. It’s costly but I wanted to reduce stress. The driver established contact with me before my flight, which was nice. It was a very comfortable ride, like a minibus. The driver happened to be from the PRC who asked if we would like to use his services for our later days. Establishing a relationship with him would turn out to be vital for our trip. We stayed in Akebonobashi, somewhat near Shinjuku but not really. Initially, I had booked the same hotel that my wife and I used for our honeymoon. They even allowed us to sleep with our baby on our bed. I knew by experience that the beds in hotel was already small, but I began to panic when I had a trip to Shanghai and had a nightmare sharing a queen with my wife and child. After that trip, I looked up the bed size in the hotel again and realised it was a semi-double! That’s even smaller than a double, much less a queen! So we were thankful that a friend told us of his friend who owned a place and was happy to have us. We had an entire tatami room with futons, which was essentially like our arrangement back at home. Importantly, it had a kitchen which we used to prepare snacks for our daughter daily.

Day 1 – Shinjuku & Shibuya

• Shinjuku Gyoen National Park. Headed here early in the morning. When I planned this, I imagined my daughter would be running amok on the park’s spacious gardens. But she kept wanting to be carried lol. We had a mini picnic on the grass and revisited some old spots. My parents and brother then left to Shibuya Sky for a booking I had made for them. I told them to check out Shibuya Hands and Loft once they were done. 
• Tokyo Toy Museum. My family then had a very nice lunch right outside the park, and headed to the museum. On my wife’s advice, we had front-loaded the “good stuff” so that if we liked it, we could opt to do it again. The Toy Museum was really wonderful! It’s located in a very old community centre, and it had a very rustic charm to it. Lots of wooden and traditional toys, and for the first time, our child could explore, touch, and throw things without being stopped. It was just nice to have something in the itinerary for her instead of her just having to tag along to whatever we planned. 
• After my daughter fell asleep (she usually does in the baby carrier), we made our way to Shibuya too. We had a nice dinner at Golden Tiger Gyoza Kaikan, which is Jap-chi fusion. Really tasty! 
• We then walked Loft and Hands and were just struck by how crowded it was compared to 2 years ago. It was uncomfortably crowded, and overall, just not such a great experience this time. My wife did mention she wanted a watch, and we managed to cute a nice made-in-Japan watch for her at Loft. She was really pleased. 

Day 2 – Tsukiji & Kappabashi district

• Tsukiji market. As I knew that I needed to reach Tsukiji by ~8.30am to avoid the crowds, we decided to just call an Uber (had to split 2 cars) as it would half the traveling time. We were mentally prepared that Tsukiji would be crowded with foreigners like ourselves, so it wasn’t that bad. But, it was still way more crowded this time. My mother did not mind as she said she had always wanted to go to Tsukiji market. My wife tried some Uni (Sea Urchin) sushi 2 years ago and tried it again. But this time she was hooked.
• Kappabashi kitchen district. To save time, we took Uber to Kappabashi kitchen district. Got some kitchenware. For lunch, I tried googling random Italian restaurants, and ended up having the best pasta I had ever eaten. When my parents joined later, they said it tasted better than pasta they had tried in Italy. I’m sorry I don’t have the name of the shop. But it was a small shop in the Kappabashi area!
• Akihabara. We took the train to Yodaibashi camera Akihabara just to look at electronics, and then had dinner in the building. 

Day 3 – Ghibli museum/Kichijoji 

• Ghibli museum. There was a chance we’d be late for our 10am Ghibli museum appointment and so I ordered a cab for my parents and my brother. I decided that my family would take the train instead as we were more mobile. But we ended up hailing a cab too as we later realised we’d also be late. This cab ride was really expensive. We arrived at Ghibli museum and had a great time! I got my parents to watch at least one Ghibli movie before coming, and that helped them to appreciate the museum so much better. Again, crowds were denser than previously. My wife and I enjoyed ourselves so much even though there was only one new exhibit and a different short film that we watched (our child’s first extended screen time). Again, if you don’t know Japanese, the secret tip is to ask the staff for English-language guidebooks. 
• Kichijoji Daiya Shopping arcade. We split up to just walk the shopping district. Had lovely menchi katsu again after 2 years (fried beef balls with onions), so good. We pretty much spent the afternoon just walking the streets before dinner and heading home. 

Day 4 – Split itinerary

My family:

• Chihiro art museum. My wife and daughter planned to go to Chihiro art museum. The museum is in honour of Chihiro Iwasaki, a children’s artist. If you’ve read the book Toto Chan, it’s her illustration on the cover page. My wife was the one who asked for this. It was a long train ride to the area, which felt much quieter, without a foreigner in sight. The museum-goers were also Japanese seniors. I’m not the sort to be excited by museums so I spent time playing with my daughter in the museum’s play room. My wife had a great time, and bought many colourful postcards. 

My brother:

• Harry Potter Studio. I had suggested to my brother to visit the studio previously. Obviously, people tend not to like to visit these places alone, and if I could, I would have gone with him. But I also felt hard to leave my family (also, since we were aware there could be a great earthquake, I told my wife I preferred to always be with them so we’d perish together). I encouraged my brother to make a trip and booked tickets for him. Turned out he really enjoyed himself, and it was the highlight of the trip for him!

My parents:

• Since we stayed near-ish to Shinjuku, I told my parents to explore Shinjuku on their own (they were quite tired from the previous days) so they’d have to do less traveling. 

Since we had all spent the day apart, I felt a bit bad as I wondered if my parents and brother really enjoyed being together with us (especially since they enjoyed just being with my daughter). So I offered to have dinner together. Turns out that was a big mistake because communicating with two parties and finding a place everyone could go to and knew how to go to was a nightmare. Due to some miscommunication on my part, my brother ended up eating at an expensive bar alone, and my parents and our family finally managed to find a soba restaurant. Dinner wasn’t great as we didn’t feel very welcomed and the space felt very small. 

Day 5 – Travel to Kawaguchiko

• We took the Fuji Express train to Kawaguchiko. On our honeymoon, we took the highway bus, but decided that the train would be more comfortable for our daughter. We recced the station the evening before knowing from experience that Shinjuku station will baffle even the most experienced travellers. I’m so happy we did, as I knew exactly where to lead our entourage to in the peak hour crowd. It was a largely comfortable ride on the train, except that my daughter hardly napped lol and we were so tired. 
• Reached Kawaguchiko and headed to our car rental. The only thing I had tasked my dad to do for the trip was car rental. He had already made numerous mistakes, including booking a car in Kawaguchi city instead of Kawaguchiko. In fact, his propensity for error was the reason why I took up trip planning in the first place. Alas, we still met with a major setback. The counter rejected his international driver’s license, claiming it was a fake license from a scam site. Sigh. We all sat outside the car rental dejected.  No car meant we couldn’t easily get to the hotel or even do our Kawaguchiko itinerary (it was raining that day, so not ideal to get onto the public sightseeing buses which are always crowded).
• I was lost, angry, and stressed as everyone now looked to me. Thankfully I calmed down and gave the driver that picked us up from the airport a call. I asked him if he had any other PRC driver friends that we could hire for a day. In a matter of minutes, I received text messages from random numbers. I chatted and negotiated with them the pricing for a half day hire. I decided that we would just use the rental money for the day’s itinerary and find other means of transportation for the next 2 days. Once I had my guy hired, we Uber-ed to the hotel and rested until he arrived.
• Oshino Hakkai Ponds. With a driver, I only requested for two places and then dinner. Oshino hakkai was nice but it would be a fantastic place for a leisurely stroll if it weren’t so crowded. 
• Oishi park. It was rainy and cold that day, and Mt. Fuji was obscured. I didn’t enjoy myself as much, but my wife was really glad to see the pretty flowers. It was a nightmare for me as my daughter wanted to explore the area and her feet were wet and muddy from the rain. So every time I had to pick her up, my clothes would get dirty. 
• Finding dinner at Kawaguchiko was a nightmare. Most shops seemed to close pretty early. We waited for a highly rather Italian restaurant to open at 6, only to realise they didn’t accept children. We checked out one or two more restaurants again to no avail as they were packed, before finally settling at a Tempura place. If you’re going to Kawaguchiko, please plan food and back-up options. It’s not easy to get from place-to-place here, and you never know if your restaurant is closed. 

Day 6 – Gotemba premium outlets

• I spent the night booking bus tickets to Gotemba as my parents wanted to see the outlets. So we planned for us to go together, but my family would return a few hours earlier. 
• We spent the morning checking out the Lake, which was just a short walk away from our hotel. It was gorgeous! We took so many photos as a family there. Mt. Fuji also made an appearance, albeit without its famous snow-capped peak. 
• Gotemba Premium Outlets. We all split up. My lovely wife also gave me freedom to roam while she stayed with my daughter. I pretty much checked out the shops I was interested in, and quickly returned to hear. There wasn’t much value, and we weren’t really interested in the shops people were flocking to (Nike, Adidas, etc.) cos they were just selling plastic clothes lol. 
• Boat ride by Lake Kawaguchiko. My family returned to Kawaguchiko early, and we decided to take a walk to the lake. We took a nice boat ride as a family. We walked to an outdoors shop we had ramen two years ago but they had run out and were preparing for a private booking. So we walked further on to an Italian restaurant opened by a couple. It was great that we were first in line when they opened, as they said orders would take a while since they only had one chef. It was a really warm home/restaurant. 

Day 7 – Fuji-Q Highlands and back to Shinjuku

• Fuji-Q Highlands. My brother loves rollercoasters as much as I do. So, I had to introduce him to Fuji-Q highlands. The plan was for me to take a few coasters with him before I peeled off to join my family to Thomas land, which is within the park. Since we were there from the opening, we thought to try without a fast pass, since it would cost me $50 for a ride. I paid I think $20 to take Takabisha (my favourite ride back then). We ended up waiting almost an hour though the queue was short! I told my brother to enjoy the rest of the coasters on his own and to get fast passes, while my family went to Thomas land. Thomas land was wonderful as my daughter could take almost all the rides! We had a nice family time. Meanwhile, I advised my parents to explore Lake Kawaguchiko while we locked up their luggage at a coin locker near the station. 
• Shinjuku. We returned to Shinjuku and sent everyone home early after dinner, while I split from everyone and spent some time checking out Shinjuku hands. I recalled the how returning home really gave me a huge sense of comfort and relief. Somehow, Kawaguchiko felt very foreign and just difficult to navigate, it was nice to return to this quiet neighborhood that I was so familiar with.

Day 8 – Karuizawa/Eric Carle Play! Park

• My parents and brother took a day trip to Karuizawa (booked the PRC driver for a day) to check out another outlet mall. 
• Eric Carle Play! Park. Located quite a distance away, we spent an entire half day here. It was quite crowded, but with locals. Again, it was nice to have a place for my daughter to just roam around and touch and play with everything she saw. Some of her favourite books were by Eric Carle.  It has a very different atmosphere to the Toy Museum as it’s more colourful, modern, and just more interactive. There’s a beautiful and well-stocked crafts room too, and the staff were very happy to guide us to make works together. 

Day 9 – Revisiting Tokyo Toy Museum & Kichijoji

• This was another day when we’d split; I told my parents and brother to think of places they wanted to revisit. 
• Tokyo Toy Museum. More fun for our daughter! Then, for the first time on our trip, we decided to look for a restaurant I had wanted to try, which was Ramen Kamo to Negi – Duck ramen. I knew I’d regret it because it’s located somewhere in Shinjuku station, and that’s where GPS would be very inaccurate. Just as I expected, we got lost and wasted a lot of time making u-turns. I made the decisions to give up and head to Kichijoji for lunch. But somehow, we managed to walk past it lol. It was a nice, if slightly warm lunch. Our first ramen for the trip (we had tried to keep it till the end so we wouldn’t fall sick). It was interesting but probably not my favourite ramen.
• Kichijoji. We didn’t really know where to go for our last afternoon. But decided to head to a smaller, quieter place with options for gift shopping. We mostly spent time looking for gifts for our friends, and eating Menchi Katsu again. Insisted on ramen dinner. 

Day 10 – Return home

• Another long plane ride! Thankfully my daughter made friends with another Japanese kid on the flight and they had some fun together. We’re having a play date this Saturday lol. Overall, it was a good trip even though it was stressful at times, particularly when we travelled as a big group together. But I’m thankful for the days when we split up, and it felt much easier, and very similar to a honeymoon, except this time we had a baby! 

Tips and Observations

• Overcrowding due to foreigners. Not only had I felt the increase in foreigner numbers, I got a news article from a friend while in Tokyo that Japan was struggling with over-tourism. At that point, I felt quite bad and even ashamed for being there. Surely, the locals would feel rather irritated dealing with foreigners. I also saw foreigners dealing with sellers quite rudely, or just in general, making their presence known and talking loudly. It did bother me quite a bit, and sometimes I was frustrated when my parents acted in touristy ways. I was certainly struggling with my hypocrisy and self-righteousness. However, it was obvious when we met foreigners who were self-aware and respectful, and that was very nice. As many have detailed, it goes a long way to start and end your conversations with Japanese. We had to drill into my parents to at least say “thank you” in Japanese if not they appeared really rude. 
• Strollers can be very useful for long days. It seemed intuitive to eschew strollers given Tokyo is really busy and crowded. However, we tested it out one of the days and realized it can be a great help: not to carry my daughter, buy to ease our loads haha. Our stroller was 99% use to hang our bags (also, my child didn’t really want to be in it). Yes, it was a nightmare trying to find the lift at every train station, but for long days, not having to carry a bag was helpful.
• Choosing your children’s meals by cuisine could help. While I’m not for determining your restaurant in your itinerary (unless you’re sure where it is located and it’s along the way), one way to help parents would be to do a Google search on certain cuisines that your children like. As detailed in this post, pasta was easy for my daughter, and it helped us to narrow down options for meals. 
• Use the Mamapapamap app to source for changing tables and nursing rooms around you. Also, baby chairs are not common in restaurants, and tend to lack safety mechanisms like belts. Many times our daughter just sat beside us or was baby-carried. Take this into consideration if your child is not sitting well yet. 
• Disable bus options on Google Maps if you don’t intend to bus. Numerous times, I clicked on a route and start on it later to realize it involves taking the train and changing to a bus. I suppose taking a bus is fine, but it introduces a lot more variables and uncertainty (some buses are very infrequent). Disable that option when you land if you don’t want it suggested. 
• Japanese mothers are involved in parenting. One observation we made at the children playgrounds was that the kids were usually accompanied by their mothers. Where I come from, it’s the cultural norm to outsource parenting to grandparents or a helper so that both parents can earn an income. It was nice to see communities of mothers. 
• The Japanese are conflict-avoidant. There were numerous times on the train when my daughter kicked up a fuss as she didn’t want to be in the baby carrier anymore. Whenever she did so, I scanned the train. And without fail, 95% of the time, nobody looked up, even when my daughter screamed her lungs out! We thought this was pretty unusual, but chalked it up to the Japanese wanting to avoid conflict by looking/staring. 
• Japanese men like their backpacks hung low. Random observation, but it seems to be true. I bought a backpack for work but when I got home, I realized it hung so low even when I maxed out the straps. I was so disappointed that I had to return it haha.