I’m currently an exchange student in Japan, and I’m struggling a lot with making friends.
I’ve been here for about three months, and I still don’t have anyone who asks how I’m doing or eats lunch with me. I’ve genuinely tried many things, read articles, watched videos, but nothing seems to work.
I joined an international society so the language barrier wouldn’t be too big (I can also manage small talk in Japanese). I joined my school's badminton club and try to talk to classmates or people from the club every day, but most of the time they just answer with a short sentence and walk away.
I’ve tried open-ended questions, sitting next to the same people every day, giving compliments, but none of it seems to help. I’ve also tried meeting people through language cafés and similar places outside of school.
I cut contact with friends and parents back home, and I don’t feel homesick. I actually like living here, but the social part is honestly really hard. My host brother doesn’t talk to me at all (since I arrived), and my host parents never start conversations either. My organization also doesn’t allow me to meet other exchange students in the area.
I know relationships take time, but I don’t feel any progress, and I’m slowly losing motivation to initiate conversations that go nowhere. And Im starting to tell myself that I don't even need friends anymore. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others, but seeing other exchange students making friends and going out together just makes me feel worse, and sometimes like something is wrong with me.
Do you have any advice on:
- How to make friends in this kind of situation
- How to stay motivated and not get discouraged in the process
Thank you for taking the time to read about the problems of a stranger. I really appreciated any advice.
by Beautiful-Cress2745