I know it’s a matter of priorities, but I need to get this out and ask for opinions.
I (F, late 30s) am working at a traditional Japanese subsidiary whose parent company is well known (Kansai people must have used their service at some point). When I was hired at the peak of Covid, I thought it was a great opportunity: I’d support the company’s participation in a JV in my home country and potentially contribute to new international business. I didn’t know much about the energy or environmental field, but I was excited to learn.
The company welcomed me warmly as the first foreigner they ever hired. My boss is easy to talk to, not micromanaging, and flexible with WFH and PTO. I could communicate in English when needed, and the environment felt forgiving. The workload was low, OT rare, and overall it felt like a place where I could balance work and family—perfect for planning a second child while raising my toddler.
But over the years, I realized I wasn’t really learning or “shining.” Most of my work involves translations, meeting notes, or tasks unrelated to my background, with little feedback or guidance. Meetings are technical, fast-paced, and obviously unproductive, where I feel useless, stupid/inferior, and left behind in most discussions. At first, the “freedom” felt nice; now it comes with guilt. veteran ojisan colleagues(they’re like 80% of the company) seem やる気ない, IT is outdated (we stopped using Outlook years ago, don’t use Teams, and even Zoom is a hassle), and innovation is resisted. I think my main contribution has been helping them set up printers and phones. Impostor syndrome crept in, worsened by a difficult manager and personal life stress, so I took a long “rest” (stress leave). I was welcomed back and learned to just go with the flow.
Now the company is exiting the JV—the only connection to my country. With management changes, the company will focus on 内販 and domestic business, so my team will be dissolved next FY. I’ll likely have to do domestic work like other Japanese employees. Flexibility remains though I imagine it won’t be long before my boss retires. I imagine the next work won’t leverage my skills or knowledge, and my sense of purpose is shrinking—especially as I manage secondary fertility treatments and childcare. My mental health is slipping again, and I’m back in therapy.
I’m torn. If I stay and “gaman,” I can keep a low workload and flexibility for family planning, but the stress of the misalignment/mismatch will haunt me. If I change jobs, I could potentially join a more modern company with more fulfilling work—but likely with higher stress and possibly delaying my plan for a second child. I also admit I’m not confident about getting hired since I haven’t achieved anything remarkable or developed new skills in the last five years, and my age and being a mother may not work in my favor.
If you were in my situation, what would you do?
Ps: thanks for reading this far.
by Opening-Performer714