I am a 59 yo foreigner living in Japan with my Japanese wife. My wife and I both have adult daughters from previous marriages. My daughter lives with us currently. My wife’s daughter left home 4 years ago and cut all contact. I mention this because it has put a great strain on our relationship.
My wife is verbally abusive. She has, in my mind, anger issues. Her level of anger goes beyond what the situation calls for. Things have been bad for some time (no romance, no connection, strained communication, no sex for years) My wife puts all blame for our situation on me and my daughter. She says we bully and abuse her. We have attempted counseling, the sessions ended up focusing on the daughter that left home and no progress was made. We are going to attempt counseling again. My daughter is afraid to come home and I have very limited contact with my wife (still in same house). I fear communication with her as it always ends up in an argument and blame. Everyone’s mental health is shot and it is affecting us physically as well.
I am considering separation but don’t know how to go about it. How it affects my visa (spouse visa expires late next year) and finances.
I have been here 8 years. I have wanted to get a PR for some
time now but my wife always asked me to delay (increase in healthcare payments/taxes or something). I trusted her so agreed.
Divorce is a possibility down the road. For now I just want to separate and have some room to breathe. Any advice would be appreciated.
Edit:
We have been married 8 years. Together 10 years. I am retired and collect a monthly pension from America. My wife does not work. If we are to separate I will continue to pay mortgage (mortgage is in my name) and pay monthly for her support.
After her daughter left home 4 years ago and cut all ties my wife has gotten worse. The last 6 months especially. Incidents trying to confront her daughter have led to police involvement on more than one occasion.
by Lost-Idiot-In-Japan