So if you’ve lived here long enough you’ve probably found yourself in the gift money/return gift death spiral. You get x amount of money or a gift and now it’s up to you to get a return gift of 1/3 (acquaintances) to 1/2 (friends and family) the monetary value as a thank you.
We had our baby girl last December and because of that we received gifts and money from every which direction and spent a good two weeks while sleep deprived searching and ordering return gifts. Easy for the money gifts, with a ton more time spent internet sleuthing to find the value of the physical gifts. To say it was exhausting is an understatement, especially to the missus who was adamant every single gift, even the tiny chocolate token gifts from coworkers we never talk to, gets an appropriate return 1/3 or 1/2 value.
Cut to yesterday and we’re visiting my friend to give him his return gift, valued exactly half of what his congratulations money was, as well as to celebrate his own baby born just last month. Knowing just how much work we (well, my wife) put into the return gifts I thought I had a *genius* idea. My friend and his wife must be just as exhausted as we were so I told her because he’s my friend I’ll handle the money gift, don’t worry.
So smash cut to me handing over the envelope on our way out. Said congratulations but, oh yeah, telling him in no uncertain terms that we do *not* need a return gift. The amount is half of what they gave us. “You know the gifting drill, and I’m saving you from at least one.” Me and my friend? Absolutely the same wavelength. He knows about the death spiral all too well and we had a laugh about it.
My wife? Well I had an earful the hour drive home. How I’d embarrassed us and I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was because what would happen now is my friends wife would *still* force through a return gift, no matter how adamant he’d be against it. Only now the return gift will be half of the value of our return gift and there’s going to be so much awkward moving forward because of it. That although my friends wife would never outwardly show it, we might’ve soured our reputation with her.
Now I’m thinking I should’ve just went the traditional way let the other side deal with what we did. That trying to be a bit thoughtful is something you do *not* do to spite tradition.
But…was my idea so bad?
by MyManD