I'm a half Japanese student that recently moved to Tokyo last year to study. I grew up in New Zealand my entire life and it had always been my dream to live and study in my home country. Before I came over to study, I had visited a few times with my parents and also travelled with my friends for about a month after I graduated high school and thought nothing about it. I might sound naive but now that I'm living here, I feel like I'm not where I thought I'd be and honestly don't really enjoy the culture and lifestyle people have.
Obviously I knew that it would be different visiting as a tourist and actually living here but its just a bit too much overwhelming. If you looked at me first glance you would assume that I speak Japanese which I can, but i can't write well and lack a bit of honorifics.
In my perspective I don't consider myself a "Japanese local" because I grew up in NZ but because of the way I look, everyone views me as one and expects the same level of understanding as a Japanese local which I don't appreciate. Also, everyone here seems so disconnected to emotion when they are in public. In NZ no matter where I go, everyone is smiling, friendly, and easy going but over here I would be lucky to find a single person on the train who doesn't look depressed. I know the culture is all about respecting other peoples boundaries and stuff but it just seems to me like no one here is expressing their true-selves in public and to me, it feels like a very heavy environment to be in.I am considering if I should just leave and start over somewhere else but I also know I probably have to get used to it.
I just wanted to see if there are any others who are in similar shoes with me or have experienced something similar.
by Electrical-Fault4258