Hi, this is my first time posting on this sub and unfortunately, my first post is about leaving the country. I probably just want to let these complicated feelings go away somewhere.
For the context:
- I'm from SEA and have been here since my undergrad years.
- I got a bachelor and a master's degree here.
- My Japanese is on a native level. No Japanese could tell me apart from Japanese people, unless they see my name (I have a Chinese root so they can't tell me from my appearance either).
- I have good friends here, both Japanese and international. But the Japanese ones except literally one of them are Japanese with some kinds of international experience (quite interesting I thought).
- I have PR after working for 5 years. But I already quit that job. It was a very stable and well-paid job but…
What triggered all these unfortunate events in my life might be the harassment I got from my former workplace. My boss was known as an incompetent manager but the HR didn't help me. My performance was so good that the HR asked me to give lectures to all other staff in the organization twice but my salary never went up; it was a seniority system where the lazier you are, the more you get paid. I wasn't obedient enough and probably can never that obedient because of my personality.
Fast forward 1 year, my dream of getting a master's and PhD in Canada seems unlikely at the moment. I wasn't a consultant or someone from IT so finding a job in Japan again is very dreadful. Everyone and their mom need to be a consultant to be able to change their job to a decent one but that's probably my bias.
I do have a job interview next week with a global company but I don't mind if I'm rejected either.
But because I've spent all my adult life here, it's anxious to step outside what I've known even though I'd just go home. And I actually probably do want to go home to spend time with my parents; living with them before they get too old and now they're very very old already.
My country might still be a shit hole after 12 years but the hole got a lot better and I probably get paid more and get to save more there. But I'd go into a Japanese company because my Japanese skill is the only that can bypass my inexperience in the private sector. It's quite surprising though that my country can pay as good as Japan if you're a skilled worker…
Oh well, anyone with the similar feelings? No need though, just want to hear how others feel!
Sorry for such a long vent 🙏
Edit: Thanks so much for the engagement 😊 I'm a woman btw, don't know if it makes any difference though.
Edit 2: Oh wow, I'm so overwhelmed by how many people joined the conversation! I really appreciate everyone's opinion and will definitely try to reply one by one!! ☺️ Your stories and opinions offered me much wider perspectives than I could have thought by myself 😀
by Particular_Debt1620