Hi this is my first post so sorry if it’s a bit all over the place.
im (22f) planning on going to Japan for at least 1 year to study at a japanese language school in July and currently having a lot of second thoughts about it and getting really stressed/anxious about the move 🙁
I’ve always wanted to go to a japanese language school since i was a teenager and just graduated college ~1 year ago and have been working since to save up for it. i’m basically all the way through the application process and just waiting for COE which will still be about 2 months. But recently i’ve been getting super cold feet.
i feel like when i applied i was bored of my current life and didn’t have a lot of friends as most had moved away after college but now i’m really happy where i am and have made friends. I also have a job i really like and would be sad to give up. And i’ve saved up a good bit of money towards the trip as language school isn’t the cheapest which i feel if i stayed could be put towards so much more. i know if i don’t go i will eventually regret it, as when i was in my final year of college i got hit with a pang of feeling disappointed in myself for never having travelled which is what really motivated me to do this. However now all i can think about is how scary going to a new country on the other side of the world where i know nobody and don’t even speak the language (i speak very little/basically no japanese) 🙁 i’m so scared to go and i am really tempted to cancel going despite being so close because i’ve gotten so comfortable where i am.
I would love to hear if anyone else has had similar experiences or any advice
by AdGuilty668
6 comments
When I made the decision to move to Japan I was excited/motivated all the way through because I would rather waste my life going for my dream than to waste my life not going for it. If you ask everyone on the older side, they will always mention regretting the things they didn’t do rather than the things they did. It’s better to regret doing than to regret not doing.
I’m in almost the exact same position as you (emotions, life circumstances, language capability and all, 23F), and moving today to go to language school in Tokyo!
It was tough leaving my life behind, but I realised that I’m lucky that I love my friends and family enough that it hurts to leave them. It’s not like moving to language school necessarily has to mean you’ll live in Japan forever, so you’re not leaving them permanently.
I thought to myself it’s better to do it now when young and fulfil your dream (albeit how scary it is) rather than look back on your life when you’re older/settled down and realise that you didn’t achieve as much as you would have liked to.
I hope this consoles you at least a little bit 🙂 the last month or so after getting your COE flies by really quickly, so please make the most of your time spending it with loved ones! I’m sure we’ll both have a blast in Japan.
I felt similarly to you, im 1 week out from my flight to japan for language school and my nerves have calmed down now that ive said my goodbyes and started looking into the area I will be living.
But like others will say, your young taking 1 year to go try something won’t ruin your life if it doesnt work out the way you hope, but never trying could lead to future regret down the road.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do though!
I think it’s pretty normal to have doubts as it gets closer to a major life change, especially when you’re young. It’s also extremely easy to stay where you are because, as you said, it’s comfortable. Many people live their entire life this way. They’re the types that will tell you, “Oh, I could never do what you’re doing” when you mention your plans.
Some amount of fear when it comes to making a change is good. That fear is there to protect us, and has been shaped by our upbringing and societal expectations. It also holds us back. It’s necessary for growth, as it forces us to either give in to the doubts, or push ourselves to overcome them. We don’t know what we’re capable of until we try.
There’s nothing forcing you to stay the whole year if you’re not enjoying it; you can leave at any time. I do think you’ll regret it more if you don’t go though, as it’s a great opportunity for personal growth. You may look back on it and realize it’s the best decision you ever made. Or maybe it will be the worst. Realistically, it will be somewhere in between.
Ultimately, your experience will be what you make of it. It’s easy to make friends at language school, as you’re grouped into classes with other foreigners. You can stay in that foreigner bubble if you choose, but you’ll get so much more out of the experience if you venture out of it.
That said… if you’re content where you’re at in life, then there’s nothing wrong with staying where you’re at. You can learn Japanese on your own, or take classes in the evenings or weekends. There’s also nothing preventing you from attending language school later in life, if you so choose. Many people attend in their 30’s and later (I was one of them). The only thing to be aware of is that life’s obligations tend to increase the older you get, so it may be more difficult to take a year off.
There’s no wrong choice here. At 22, your life is pretty much just starting. If the main concern is not having traveled, then as an alternative, why not do a trip to Japan? Maybe plan it with your friends to go in a year or two. You’ll get a feel for the country and the culture, and you can then decide if you want to attend a language school, which you’d still be able to do before 30. Or maybe it’ll reaffirm that language school was the choice you should’ve made, and you’ll feel some level of regret for not attending when you planned to… but hey, that’s life.
Self doubt is natural anytime you are going to do something that will change you. You are at a good point in your life to do something like this.
I went to Japan at 49. I wish I had gone in my twenties. It would have been much easier.
Commit to your plan. Find out what is on the other side of your dream.
Hey, I was in the EXACT SAME situation as you though I’ll be moving to Japan next week for language school. I still doubt my decision honestly because I’m giving up my stable corporate job for a dream that might not work out. However, I would rather fail than wonder all my life what it could have been had I went to Japan when I could.
You’re young, you have plenty of time to make mistakes and get your life together! Travel NOW because when you’re older and have family commitments (aging parents, spouse, children, pets, etc), you won’t be able to do something like this.
I’m rooting for you! Truthfully, many have said Language School was the best time of their lives.
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