Composing a Haiku for my late cat Kitty.

I’m trying to commemorate a moment that happened after my beloved friend of 18 years, Kitty, passed away recently.

I went walking with my mom and her dog in a natural area where I live. We had a conversation where I mentioned my hope that Kitty could one day return as a bird. As we began to leave we started hearing birdsong.

It began as hundreds of birds and soon swelled until it sounded like thousands. It was very loud until suddenly it all stopped at once and went completely silent. Hundreds of birds then flew from the nearby trees and flew a loop around us before resuming their song and flying away.

I was sobbing. I felt Kitty’s presence. Here is my haiku.

鳥の音/静かな空や/うちに行く

Bird sounds / the quiet sky / going home

Does the Japanese text sound correct or is it awkward to a Japanese ear? I intend to make this poem a part of her permanent memorial and need a little help.