I’ve been living in Japan for quite a while now, but I feel like I’m still stuck in the “ALT bubble,” and it’s starting to bother me. I read books in Japanese and I talk to my wife in Japanese. I am going to take N1 and Kanji Kentei level 2 this summer.
I want to use Japanese more in my daily life, but I feel like I keep running into two big roadblocks:
1. I overthink politeness and tone
I constantly worry about whether what I’m saying sounds too blunt, not respectful enough, or just “off.” It makes me hesitate a lot, especially with people I don’t know well. With my wife, I’m fine but outside of that, I get anxious and second-guess everything.
2. It doesn’t feel expected (or even welcomed)
In a lot of situations, people default to English with me, or it just feels like I’m not really expected to use Japanese especially at my job. I just get this aura that they are expecting me to not be able to speak well. Sometimes when I do try, I get the vibe that it’s easier for them if I just stick to English, so I end up backing off.
I think part of the problem is that in English I can kind of “fake” social cues like sounding interested, being polite, softening things, etc. but in Japanese I don’t feel like I have that same control yet, and it makes me hesitant to engage.
For those of you who’ve been in a similar position, how did you push past this and especially the anxiety around sounding appropriate and natural? I really think it just boils down to being in the English teaching bubble. If I actually worked outside in society I would be forced to used Japanese and my problems would probably be fixed in a matter of months. Maybe.
by AdUnfair558