For context, I’m not transitioning or anything like that. I simply want to know in today’s Japan how weird or strange it would be as a young man to use particles like な or the declarative の at the end of sentences. I’ve heard that nowadays these gender-specific ways of speaking are becoming less and less concrete, but I’ve also heard that it still matters to some degree. I’m going to Japan for the first time in about a year, so I’d like to know if I should really practice not accidentally using those “feminine” particles or if people don’t really care anymore.
Thank you 🙏
by Tsuki_2122
8 comments
i don’t think anyone will think anything of it! if you say something like 「あたしさ、最近ゲームにハマってるわねー」 ofc you might come across as オネエ or something 😂 but tbh most people will not care about little things like what you’re describing. just speak how you naturally feel you’d like to speak. it’s not like if you sound feminine or something that you’re gonna go to jail, honestly if it’s that weird or unnatural im sure someone will correct you or let you know. just speaking at all is half the battle!
I guess my first question is why would you use them? They’re sort of “flavor“ and aren’t particularly necessary to communicate.
I’m not sure what you mean byな particles, but as for declarative の, I never really thought it’s feminine. It’s soft and a bit childish depending on context, but not weird even if a guy uses it. For example I’m a guy but if someone asks 明日なんで来れないの？ I would say something like 明日は病院行かないといけないの.
Maybe it’s just because I’m old, but using the effeminate language nuances as a foreigner usually just gives the impression “that guy has a Japanese girlfriend and he’s learning by imitating her speech patterns.” Nothing wrong with that and no one will think anything of it. But, if you want to come off as more fluent/natural, I think it helps to speak like a guy. But then again, I’m an old man and times change. I started learning Japanese over 30 years ago, lol. There’s a good chance these things matter less than ever.
わ, a traditionally feminine ending particle, is masculine in my area of Japan. I almost never hear the feminine わ irl. I remember I told a guy I liked something like 明日会いに行くわ and he laughed and said I talk like a guy. It’s all about intonation. A rising わ sounds girly, a falling わ is manly.
I heard a guy from Nagoya whom I had a FWB relationship with say かしら, like どうかしら？ I asked him why he said that, and he said it’s because he was talking to me, a woman. I think it’s normal for men to soften their language when talking to women, especially if they’re romantically involved.
I mean the worst case is they have some unkind thoughts they probably won’t express. They’re unlikely to like, kick you out of a restaurant or something.
I do this all the time, not as an expression of gender, but because I largely learned Japanese from girls. I get the gaijin pass on it, and only occasionally I’ll get a friend who will correct me.
I _am_ transitioning actually, and my choice of pronouns in japanese gave it away to my prof’s much earlier than I expected. I got a note like “… this is what you’re choosing for your casual speech? Alrighty then.” and then noticed they had switched up all my english pronouns and whatnot. So I dunno at what point in your language learning they will take it at face value, but that was about when I was around N3/N2 level, so more than advanced enough to know exactly what I was doing there.