I am 2 meters tall, so gigantic by Japanese standards. Pretty much every day I hear comments from Japanese people saying 背高い, or something similar. I used to think it was funny because I could respond in Japanese and surprise people who thought I couldn't understand them. Usually when this happens it's a short polite interaction, or we strike up a friendly conversation in Japanese, which I enjoy doing. My problem is recently people have been looking at me like I'm crazy, or just saying サンキュウ👋 (essentially fuck off). That kind of response has really started to piss me off. Where I'm from it's rude to talk about someone behind their back, so to maintain that rudeness after being confronted for it seems crazy to me. Am I overreacting, or should I let these people know (politely) that what they're doing is rude?
Edit: some people seem to be getting the wrong idea, so I should clarify I understand the impulse to comment and I don't mind when people are respectful after I respond to them. What I'm annoyed by is people who act like I'm being a nuisance to engage them in conversation (in their own language) even though they're the ones who were talking about me thinking I wouldn't understand.
by TheButtMan123
25 comments
lower your 性 a bit
Talk shit in japanese, tf they gonna do
I’d just get used to it. You are going to end up telling off pretty much every single person you encounter.
I think you can say shorties in return
背
You are overeacting wayyyy too muchhh
>Where I’m from it’s rude to talk about someone behind their back
You’re not where you’re from. You’ve willingly moved somewhere else with different social norms. One of my kids is pushing 190cm and is a native. He gets comments all the time. We had a dad at my daughter’s elementary school who had acromegaly and was easily 210cm+ and I would guess over 150kg. You think you get comments…
You need to harden the fuck up if people talking about your most striking genertic abnormality bothers you.
Bro. You’re gigantic also by global standards. Realistic advice is to grow a thicker skin. Else feel free to call them out but that will only add to your frustration and lead you to become even more bitter than you already are.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying what they are doing is justified but this is the reality unfortunately.
Just give half a smile and nod, genuine people will reach out to you. The other half will be just be wanting to point and stare.
Not just Japan, but almost everywhere in Asia it is socially acceptable to comment on people’s appearance. Personally I don’t like it but there is little you can do to stop people. Just learn to ignore them.
I’m confused on the サンキュウ bit, how is that fuck off?
They aren’t calling you tall with any malicious intent, are they? They’re fascinated by you. I don’t see how サンキューmeans fuck off, either. They’re probably just in shock over being called out. You’re only ruining your own day by getting pissed off by people who have no intention in pissing you off.
I think you have to provide more context to us. I can’t see the whole picture of what’s happening just by your explanation.
I can easily imagine a Japanese local spamming “thank you thank you” because that’s the only word they have in their English vocabulary book. Maybe they had no idea how to interact a foreigner idk.
I would not give weird facial expressions and I won’t even care, but, I would definitely do a 二度見 if I see a Titan like you. It’s not something we locals see everyday.
You really need to chill. With that attitude you’ll just end up full of frustration and ruin your time here.
You’d probably be offended if I was around too, because 2 meters is fucking huge and I’d definitely point you out to my wife. This isn’t a Japanese people being rude this. It’s normal to point out giants basically everywhere (except maybe the Netherlands or some scandanavian countries where people your sized aren’t attention grabbing). You’re in like the 0.01% of global population based on height.
It’s also just generally annoying listening to tall people problems, as if your height doesn’t have way way more positive benefits than negative ones.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with these comments. Being 2m tall means people notice you immediately, and it’s unfair how some think it’s okay to make unsolicited remarks. their comments likely say more about their own need to fill awkward silence or project insecurity
What helps me in similar situations is:
Quick shutdowns like Yep, I’m tall” followed by immediately changing the subject, or humour if it suits you. Or just walking away without engaging—not because you’re overreacting, but because you’re reclaiming your peace.
Your height is just one part of your incredible self, and you absolutely deserve to move through the world without commentary. Save your energy for people who see beyond it.
The flip side of hyper-polite social interaction is that gossip and sly comments to third parties are endemic in Japan. Its a coping mechanism. Get used to it. **ちび** **ちび**.
As a gaijin I say サンキュウ quite often, it feels more natural to me and easier to say. I don’t think I’m being rude , am I?
Get some quality noise-blocking headphones.
Tbh I’d just embrace it man, it’ll happen anywhere in asia for anyone that isn’t a ‘normal’ size. I’m only 6’1 but I’m a bit jacked from a lifetime of the gym, and I generally can’t go a day with the stares, comments or people openly taking photos which happened in my home country too, but nowhere near as much. My thing now is I’ve embraced it and now sometimes tease them about their size depending on the scenario (playfully not rudely) and encourage them to go to the gym too. It happens less in touristy areas, but in very japanese areas it gets a bit full on.
It helps a tonne if you can figure out ways to flip it into a more enjoyable experience that you can laugh about too. I’m seen some blatantly overweight or visually really stood out tourists/residents have a much harder time
Just out of curiosity, how did growing up tall not make you immune to this shit by now anyways? Growing up as a fat kid, and all the teasing and bullying in society made the Japanese straight forwarded versions of it timid by comparison and largely ignorable.
I get those comments too. I ignore most of them or I just say “あ” or “うん” and keep walking because I’m not starved for attention.
Learn to enjoy it, or at least not mind it. Been coming here for ~25 years, living here for 10, and people commenting on my height (as a fellow 2m club person) has been a constant. It’s always been harmless, and sometimes has lead to interesting conversations with people. Older people seem to find it pretty amusing when I tell them I often hit my head on doors here (I don’t any more, but for the sake of the conversation I tell them I do).
If you listen to the OP many were being rude, despite other just neutral comments.
I too find it unfortunate that people like to one-way-badmouth in the big cities here. Now I understand this is a symptom of big cities but Japan has their own passive aggressive way of doing it that often feels very sneaky and demeaning.
I guess you just have to accept it as part of the landscape and flow with it. I live in Tokyo and people just say things here with so little thought to me it carries almost zero weight cuz it’s so cheap.
I checked your profile and I’m so confused