Hi.
I have come to Tokyo for an exchange year from London and I have been looking forward to this for months. But, everything started to feel horrible from the first day i got here. My accommodation was really dirty and had a lot of big insects everywhere. I complained and I was relocated to another room temporarily and I am the only one in this flat. I am not sure when I will be told to go back to my original room and it's going to be such a pain getting everything moved back in there.
The weather isnt the best so I haven't gone out either. I also don't know the language as I didn't find the time to learn it back home due to other commitments. Only time i feel okay is when I am on call with my boyfriend and it doesn't help that we can barely call due to the time difference.
I went out with a bunch of people from our accommodation today but low and behold I spilled udon ramen all over myself and I felt so embarrassed. I feel like a child and everyone is so put together whereas I am so lost and depressed. I have been crying every day. I have lived on my own for uni for the past two years, so I thought it couldn't be as bad. I expected it to be hard. but I feel so lost I don't know what to do. I don't want to burden my family with my sadness as they already have a lot on their plates and I've always been independent and able to do everything, even if challenging.
Please don't make fun of me; I just want some advice or help with anything. I really want to feel more settled and less overwhelmed. I have no one here and for the first time ever I feel homesick, even though I have lived on my own and got through it. I miss my family. I miss my cat. I miss my boyfriend. I miss being in London even if it is a shithole most times. I am hopeful I can get through it but please, if anyone has been in my shoes, do help. Sorry for all this venting but I just need answers from people who have been through this. If you have any questions please let me know. Thank you.
by ViolinistLow8130