TTokyo

where are my fellow 帰国子女?

  • September 21, 2025

I moved out of Japan at age 4 and recently moved back here to start my post-grad corporate job. I have no friends here at all and wondering how/where people in similar boat as me have found their community. I'm mainly looking to befriend eng speaking people just because it's my native tongue and I feel like there's more cultural similarities than with native japanese people…..

by la_filledete

12 comments

  1. Hey! Fellow returnee here. I would say all the 帰国子女 mainly end up going to private universities within Japan with English speaking programs such as Waseda sils and Sophia FLA, or mainly move abroad after graduating international School. So if you want to find returnee people I will say go to one of these universities and you’ll be surrounded by them

    Also they’re often rich af

  2. Im a returnee and I also move out of Japan at quite similar age to you, but I moved back here while Im still schooling. I cant really offer much advice since my current school environment is quite different from a coperate one, but I’m sure you will find great friends regardless if they’re native Japanese or foreign. Cultural barriers might be a thing at the start but if you find a good bunch, Im sure that barrier would go away soon. Hope for the best!

  3. We exist, but are very much a minority. Especially the ones that feel confident enough about our language abilities to be open about it are pretty rare. I met some at my university, but I’m not aware of anything that can be called a community after graduation. You’ll probably have better luck looking for groups for foreigners. If you’re determined to find returnees, I think the international companies (especially in fields like finance or consulting) tend to attract them, so look for connections there I guess?

  4. Join the Meetup app. Find hiking groups or other groups that interest you. You’ll meet a ton of English speakers at the events.

  5. I left at age 12, back after 20 years, I’m probably way older than you at 35F but totally get what you’re going through.

    There are many people in the same boat, even if not returnees but all immigrants/expats who can’t seem to “belong” here.

    Have you started your job in Japan? Is it in a Japanese company or international? I’m sure you’ll find friends there, most people seem to find friends through their work if they’re not in school.

    Otherwise, friends of friends.

  6. I’ve only met one other near my age who identifies more with our foreign identity than japanese in 10 years living here, it’s pretty rare 😔

  7. I’m not a 帰国女子 but I’m always looking to make new friends! Been here almost 6 years with a very international background so I’ve also found it difficult to make only Japanese friends.

  8. I’m here! But I’m like double your age (assuming you’re a fresh grad).

    I found my community in middle/high school when I moved back to Japan, and also in college. I have a few kikoku friends from work as well, although they’re 10 years older than me.

  9. Not a returnee but Japanese Canadian nisei here! I’m working in the med field and it sure is a bit lonely here lol

  10. Similar situation! Was raised in the States but moved back to Japan, and graduated and started working last year. I haven’t really met any other 帰国子女 outside of school, so maybe we’re just a rare breed 🤷‍♂️

  11. always wish more people would speak to me in english as it is my first language… the problem is, i look japanese AF so anyone and everyone would autonomically assume im a non-english-speaker

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