I have an appointment tomorrow at a local place near me for a general test and dermatology for a skin condition. But I’m not too confident in my ability to explain my problems since I’m only just barely conversational.
I’m trying to get blood work and hormone tests done to see if I can get medication for stress and sleep, and to see if I can pin this problem on something other than mental illness.
I’ll try to make a long story short. I’ve been here for two years after moving to attend language school. I lived in Tokyo for two years and moved to Osaka in July. My divorced mother passed away about four years ago when I was 27, shortly after I started a new position in my career. I’ve mostly just ignored that fact and tried to push on. I was working on getting transferred to the Tokyo office but was pushed into taking voluntary retirement because of anger issues from my mother’s death. So, with no job or family, I stubbornly decided to come to Japan and give it a try on my own.
Over the last year, I’ve had a severe drinking problem and started smoking over a pack a day. I quit drinking cold turkey after moving to Osaka, but I’m starting to relapse again. I need to quit both for upcoming surgeries, and I also have to start working some kind of part-time job to keep from draining my savings. I’m already having trouble biting my tongue when I get easily angered — I’m not physically violent, just verbal and I haven’t snapped yet, but with this upcoming surgery, I’m not sure what’ll happen.
Most of my hair has fallen out from stress and genetic balding, and my eyes are dark and sunken. I wear makeup and a wig to keep up my appearance, but that’s becoming a major stress point too.
I’ve got about a year left at this school and need to focus on passing my exams for work and reaching N3, but at this rate, I can see myself going nowhere fast unless I control this stress.
by Pure_Character1902