This is a nonsense throwaway post just to see if anyone else has had a similar feeling. Also I am posting after an Enkai where I drank some sake, so sorryy.
I’m originally from Mexico, of Japanese descent, lived several years in the U.S. as a teenager, later two years in Denmark, and over two decades in Japan.
When you are a foreigner in a country, I think you tend to more easily encounter and spend time with and end up talking with other foreigners in that country (if you are polite and don’t make an effort to dismiss or avoid them) just by nature of sharing being from somewhere else. Maybe you have had this experience in Japan if you moved here without being born here. In the U.S., Europe, and Japan alike I got to know a lot of exchange students, immigrants, and expats.
I just continually notice a thing that feels very unique to Europeans compared to any other group (comparing them all outside of their own countries), and it feels especially strong in Japan for reasons I will speculate on below. I’m just curious if there are any people who feel it the way I do or whether maybe I’ve just gotten a prejudice from encountering specific kinds of people and I am accidentally discluding the rest.
I think most foreigners in every country tend to have conversations where we talk about our home countries, compare them to the country we are living in, and compare them to each other. Usually “compare” doesn’t mean inherently better or worse, just observations and experiences and playful generalizing from there, and occasionally pointing out advantages and disadvantages.
But since moving to Japan I feel like all of those conversations with Europeans specifically (especially British, Spanish, French, and German; but also Scandinavians and many Eastern and Southern Europeans as well) basically only tell stories about how their home countries are better in some way.
This seems strange to me just because of basic social skills. Normally if you share something that is “better” about “yourself” (including where you’re from), if you’re being considerate and polite, most people from around the world make a simple effort to either say something nice about someone else, or make a self-deprecating observation to tone down the appearance of bragging.
When I lived in the U.S. I got used to everyone there saying it was the greatest country in the world and freer and better than everywhere else. Honestly it’s annoying (lol), and I’m sorry very stupid sometimes. iykyk, lol. But I accepted it because it was people inside their own country expressing love for their own country. And in my experiences, most Americans outside of the U.S. actually DON’T talk like that.
But Europeans feel like the opposite. Inside of Europe I didn’t feel like they were bigoted (mostly) or obsessed with their own superiority. But the ones I meet abroad seem to not want to listen to anything about anywhere else or learn anything about where they are unless it gives them a chance to talk about how where they are from has enhanced them above that. If you say a good thing about education or tax or tolerance or healthcare or food in Japan or your home country or any other country you have visited, they are like. “WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR HOW MUCH BETTER IT IS WHERE I’M FROM!” If you say a bad thing about crime or danger or scams or violence or government corruption in Japan or your home country or anywhere else you have been, they’re like, “OH MATE WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR ABOUT HOW IT IS WHERE I’M FROM.”
When I met Europeans in the U.S., they still did this, but it was a little toned down by being challenged by Americans being prideful of their own country. But in Japan it feels like once they get started on how much more (whatever measure) Europe is, the whole social environment for the remainder of the time they have the floor is ruined because Japanese people politely don’t challenge them as a matter of culture, Americans (at least the ones in Japan) are wary of sounding nationalistic, and Latin Americans and Africans just want to have fun and change the subject.
And I tend to like conversations so when someone is talking a lot, as long as they are coherent and seem interested in engaging, I tend to pay attention to them. But as a result I often end up with the European person or people continuing to try to pull me aside and continuing to try to talk about some superior point about Europe or their home country specifically and disrupt the flow of the general vibe. And I end up having to shift gears and be at least mildly confrontational to get them to stop.
I can handle that and I don’t need advice about getting out of that specific situation. I’m just curious whether anyone else has noticed this specific pattern. A couple times I jokingly brought up this observation to European people who were doing the thing, and their reaction was with zero reflection to go “THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S TRUE!” Which maybe it is or isn’t. It certainly doesn’t match my experiences. But my point is not whether it’s true or not. Just if you were truly from a better or more interesting or more advanced civilization, wouldn’t you know how to make a self-deprecating joke occasionally or give someone else some respect or love to balance the mood?
I know UK people aren’t Europeans politically anymore but for the purposes of this question they’re included on my observations.
Sorry about the lame “dae” question and long rant. And maybe it doesn’t seem Japan-specific, but I feel like the social culture of Japan is part of it specifically because of how taboo it is in Japan to interrupt someone or challenge them on points like this, which really let it get out of control (at least in my experience).
Thank you for reading and byeee!
by Glad_Honeydew8957