Hi guys, this is gonna be a long one
I work for an Eikaiwa company.
I’m (25F) posting this from a throwaway account and plan to delete in a few days as there are a lot of details that make me pretty identifiable.
I’m trying to leave my job right now, I recently transferred and signed a year long contract but the company made a mistake in sending me a renewal survey and I elected to only stay for 6 months so they are honoring their mistake and allowing me to leave at the 6 months mark.
So recently in a flirtatious message my (new) boss asked me on a date while intoxicated in the afternoon and then later deleted the messages and sent a message telling me to ignore all of it. I was about to take a nap right before he sent it and I screenshotted and fell asleep. A couple more messages were sent while I was asleep but I didn’t get the chance to see them. I responded that I was napping, and he said that he had just wanted someone to grab dinner with. This isn’t the first time he made an advance on me, previously my sister also lived in the same city as me but since then has moved away and left the company. At the time of the previous advance (6 mos ago maybe) I was wanting to move to the city my sister was living in (the one I live in now) to be closer to her and I went out with several coworkers including my current boss and my previous boss (all in the same company in neighboring prefectures) the other coworkers and my previous boss (female) left and I was left with just my sister and my now boss who was not my boss then. We went to a karaoke room and drank and discussed the idea of me transferring to my sisters city (current city). We all got really drunk, and my sister passed out. While she was passed out he was joking and being physical with me (pushing into me playfully and putting his hand on my arm briefly, calling me hottie and beautiful etc) I didn’t ask him to stop but I also didn’t encourage the behavior. Several days ago I saw my boss again and there was an awkward silence so I broke it by asking “how was the gyoza?” Dinner he invited me to. He seemed visibly shaken for a minute and was struggling to think of a response. I later realized it was because it was a detail of one of the messages he deleted that he thought I hadn’t seen so I think it may have been received as a power play. I’m a little concerned something may come from that. I showed my previous coworkers the messages and they said it was very black and white harassment and to take to HR as our contract does not allow that kind of relationship because of the power dynamic. I showed one of my current coworkers the messages, and he told me not to say anything and to just let sleeping dogs lie and that it would blow over. My sister still has screenshots of messages from him as well before she quit the company. I also know a couple other girls that he has made very inappropriate comments to while intoxicated but one is trying to transfer to another branch and may not be willing to say anything and the other one I do not know personally. I heard that he can be nasty towards the male staff as well.
I don’t trust the company to handle the situation seriously as fear mongering is a go to for ALt and Eikaiwa companies, and it would possibly damage the companies image. My boss has tenure, and I don’t know what kind of contributions he’s made to the company. When I first joined, I told them about my mental health past (anxiety and suicidal thoughts) in hopes that they would be helpful in assisting me to finding care etc. instead the trainer threatened to cancel my classes and I later learned that he had told my (current) boss who holds a little status over my previous boss about it. My previous boss was somewhat empathetic. The night I went out with my current boss and discussed the transfer I found out that he knew about it and he essentially made me feel like a liability to the company if I were to transfer and I had to argue against it. I guess my point in adding that bit is that I’m not sure I feel safe trying to make a report alone but it’s a repeating incident and a new girl just joined the team.
What should I do? Leave quietly, or leave and make a report after securing a new job?
by SomeMilk4644