Since I'm here on an expat package, most of my social circle has been other professionals in my field (software engineering), mostly men, and the occasional accompanying spouse, usually another westerner.
In the past year or two however, I've started using some domestic/western platforms to meet a wider range of people, both Japanese and foreign residents. There's something I've noticed again and again, enough that it feels like a broader trend rather than a coincidence.
- Relationships between Japanese men and foreign women often seem to become very unhealthy or toxic.
- Despite that, the foreign women involved rarely seem to leave. Even when there's repeated cheating, verbal or physical abuse, or a clear imbalance, they often stay.
I'm curious about what might explain this. Is it be related to legal or visa issues, financial dependence, limited job opportunities? Or is there just a language issue?
From what I understand, Japanese custody law usually favors the mother, even if she doesn't have PR, so I don't think that alone explains it.
Anyway: I'd really like to hear from anyone who has personal experience or insight. Please understand that I'm not judging anyone here, nor victim blaming (the abusive men in this equation should be in a very dark jail cell), I genuinely want to understand why so many foreign women stay in such unhappy relationships when, back home at least, I think they'd have pulled the trigger on a divorce years ago.
by serial_lurker333