I’m a 27M language student about to graduate. I’ve never been particularly into dating, but since coming to Japan I’ve gradually developed feelings for my homeroom teacher (26F).
She has always been completely professional in her approach. Over the past year, though, I’ve really come to enjoy our conversations and I feel very comfortable around her. I’m fully aware that this is likely just her being good at her job, but it still affected me.
Back in my country, I already graduated from university, and it was normal to go out for drinks with professors. Since most of my classmates here are under 20 and I don’t really have friends, I tried inviting some of my older male teachers out for drinks — just casually, like “going out with the boys.” That’s when I learned that at this school teachers are not allowed to meet students outside of class. It’s even written in the rulebook.
About six months in, I was supposed to change classes and teachers, so I thought, “might as well take a shot.” I told my homeroom teacher that I wanted to be friends with her. She gave me the same response as the other teachers — that it’s not allowed — but she added that once I graduate, we could be friends.
Since then, almost a year has passed. I’ve occasionally sent her emails about my life and sometimes pictures of things I found beautiful. She always replies, but in a professional tone. I know she might just be responding out of obligation, and sometimes it’s hard to tell if there’s anything more there or not.
Now that graduation is close, I don’t know how to proceed. Part of me wants to ask for her LINE after I graduate. But I’m also scared of facing the reality that, once I’m no longer her student, she won’t have any obligation to reply at all.
Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you handle it?
by Prlude