is there anything i can do about this? abuse was grabbing and carrying my child by his head when he was 11 months old and grabbing his shirt by the collar to lash out at him bec my child did something he wasnt supposed to. another time was him forcing me to drive and my child wont stop crying so he flicked his feet the entire drive and my child was crying in pain so i stopped the car and said ill go to the back but he said just hurry up and drive and i just want everything to be over so i drove as fast as i could back home. he would emotionally physically verbally abuse him so we asked for help from japan shelter and we flee for a while and my ex husband back then said he will promise not to do things again and he will change so we made him sign agreements through my lawyer and went back but after a month of going back he stopped the past abuses but he started s*xually abusing my child it started by him touching his sexual parts with his hands or toes and he would make it look like its just play like he is tickling him but its always either the front or the back (putting his fingers in between the cracks) i said dont tickle him there bec thats his private parts and he got mad saying 'i was just playing, fine i wont play anymore' and stormed off. i also noticed when he took my child to shower he would only caress gently and slowly the private parts he wont wash the hair armpit or other body parts properly and would spend weirdly long time and multiple times on private parts so i said stop focusing on the private parts. i started watching him closely and i couldnt take it anymore so i took him to the 市役所 where they have the family center i told them what my ex husband was doing and i want them to explain to him what sexual abuse is and they did, after we got out of the shiyakusho, he turned to me and said, 'you're sexually abusing our child' and i said what? and he said, ' because you breastfeed him. the people in shiyakusho said touching and making them touch private parts are sexual abuse' and i was in disbelief. anyway after that he stopped openly touching my child so i thought we were okay, until one night i was in the shower and as soon as i got out my child came to me and said, 'hey mommy show me your butt' i was confused, 'show me your butt mommy i wanna warm it' and he started putting his face and blow warm air on my backside, hes never done that before i was so confused i said why do u wanna do that and he said, ' because papa did it to me and he also did it to me too' my face turned red i was fuming i was disgusted i was scared, he put his mouth in my childs butt and made him do it to him too and he did that while he knows im in the shower (im tearing up as i type this im traumatized) i called the shiyakusho the next day i was shaking and i said i wanna call the police, and the shiyakusho people told me, 'he will go to jail are u sure u want that?' i was confused yet again, why? why are people not seeing what im seeing? i said if he deserves to go to jail he should? and they stopped me told me to calm down. since then whenever he is home i shower with doors open i poop with doors open i never let my child out of my sight again, i thought he was safe, i dont know what to do the people around me are making me feel like im crazy. and then one day i was in the kictchen and my ex was in the sofa with a blanket in a split second i could see my child and my child was under the blanket i opened it and he was in the crotch and surprised like he was hiding something, this is 2 years ago so i cant remember exactly how i found out but i found out my ex is touching my sons provate parts under the blanket again, i got so mad and i said i told you the shiyakusho people told you stop touching his private parts and he said, ' he asked me to ' and i said youre an adult youre supposed to say no. and few weeks after that i left. we divorced but he wont sign it unless he gets vistaion rights. my lawyer said the abuse 'wasnt bad enough' that he still have rights to it so i agree only with 3rd party people around and it has to be a public area. but my child doesnt wanna go every single time and i have to convince him bec thats what was agreed, and im really busy and i get sick sometimes so ive cancelled twice so far and he is threatening me to take me to court. i dont know what to do i need help, but im just a single mom with noone to depend on, except the shiyakusho people.
by Full-Assistance8388