Today I’m feeling slightly off, and I’m not sure if it’s just in my head or if I’m becoming too negative in my observations.
Every Saturday I travel about an hour to play tennis. Usually it’s something I look forward to. But today, on the way, I noticed several people spitting on the road or chewing gum and throwing it on the street. I’ve seen this happen before, of course — no place is perfect — but today it felt like I was seeing it everywhere. It kind of put me in a bad mood.
Then something else happened.
Recently I’ve been playing tennis every Saturday morning with my company’s tennis club. As a foreigner (gaijin), I usually don’t talk much because I don’t speak much Japanese, and sometimes I feel like the response might be cold or awkward. So I tend to stay quiet, especially around women, because I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.
Today, on my way to the court, I ran into one of the female members from the club. We’ve never really talked before, but we see each other regularly. Since we were going to the same place to play, I thought it would be normal to just say “hi” and greet her.
But she reacted in a way that made me feel like she thought I was trying to flirt with her. She barely responded and seemed uncomfortable. Later, it even felt like she avoided being on the same team as me.
Honestly, that hurt more than I expected. My intention was completely innocent — just a simple morning greeting before playing together. Now I feel weirdly sad, almost like I did something wrong or made someone uncomfortable, even though that wasn’t my intention at all.
It’s such a small thing — just saying hello at 8am on the way to play tennis — but being treated like that made it feel heavy.
Maybe I’m overthinking. Maybe she was just having a bad day. But right now, it just feels like a bad experience that’s sticking with me.
Has anyone else experienced something similar living abroad?
by Ambit_Panic40109