I am a non-English speaking worker who came to Japan. I do not have white skin, so I do not receive the seemingly friendly service that Japanese people typically extend to foreigners. While most Japanese people are very friendly, there are also some who are very unfriendly.
When I’m working, I’m often bossed around by some old women. I admit I have some shortcomings, but the ridiculous part is that she acts just as arrogant toward the foreigner next to me, who has been working here for over a year and is a seasoned veteran.
Today while I was cycling, a Japanese person nearby called me a "baka" for no reason. For a split second, I wanted to turn around and snap back with a "Ha?!", but they had already pedaled far away.
I asked Japanese people on Chiebukuro how to handle this situation, and while their responses were empathetic, they all—without exception—told me to just endure it. I don't know if this is part of Japanese culture or what, but I'm done enduring. How can I fight back in these situations? Please don't tell me to "just put up with it." I want to make them stop this abnormal behavior.
by Creepy-Potato8924
11 comments
By the way, I’ll probably be taken for East Asian, haha
For workplace issues talk to the manager. If it doesn’t solve it, get a new job.
I don’t know about the latter. Maybe he was just crazy.
My ex-wife is Japanese but for some reason was always taken for being Chinese, especially if we were in an area known for tourism. The amount of shit talking that was done in front of her because it was assumed she couldn’t understand was insane. Once I asked why she didn’t say anything and her answer was that it would embarrass them. Take that as you may, but I think “endure it” is more or less the cultural expectation.
I don’t have much to say about the nuance of your situation, but crazy and shitty people exist everywhere, friend.
The Japanese way is generally to just endure things, hence the advice you received. I’m less likely to endure things if given options. Even if this is a small minority if society who is tormenting you (even 1% of strangers doing things like that can be a lot if you come across over 100 people on daily basis). Even 0.1% can be a lot if you think of that is one incident per 10 days, while running into 100 strangers a day. Just also try to notice that the vast majority do leave you alone and you might feel better. There are a-holes everywhere. With regards to reactions to a-holes, for strangers, you can just play it by ear. If something comes up often, you can come up with a response for that. If, on the other hand, it’s random and shocking, then you probably won’t have a ready response. Even so, that would prove that the situation is quite rare. You can always come up with logical contingency plans in the case that you face certain situations. As for those whom you know whom you feel treat you unfairly, you should come up with a plan to make it known that you don’t want that person to treat you that way anymore. If they persist, then you have to come up with options for that specific case and think about the merits of each one before implementing any of them.
Agreed with others here. 我慢 is practically a virtue in Japan–for better or worse.
The Japanese attitude of gaman (bearing the unbearable with patience and calmness) is cultural and very deeply engrained. It played a big role in why many elderly people die during massive heat waves— the “put up with it” attitude caused them to often not seek out medical attention until it is too late or not at all.
You can confront them but you’re only one person. Truth is you don’t have the power as a foreigner. The Japanese people do. Many are wonderful and against racism but a lot more aren’t. They are the majority and don’t have to worry about racism.
Social harmony is valued more than calling out the problems of Japanese society. You will have to endure it. As a foreigner you aren’t a part of that harmony to many Japanese people. Seeing you shatters their idea of an 100% Japanese Japan.
Make more non-Japanese(especially brown ones) friends if possible. They will be able to relate to your experiences.
While it isn’t nice to be insulted, I’m feeling quite uncomfortable with someone wanting to “make” their hosts “stop”.
You’re a guest. It’s not your place to change the society of your hosts. It most definitely isn’t your place to fight anything. Your wording and your description of the situations don’t sound as if you made the effort to adapt to Japanese culture. It simply sounds as if your appearance is less of a problem, but your attitude. They make the rules. If you don’t like them, leave.
That you started your post with the explanation that you went to Japan without knowledge of the English language – not the Japanese – is a sign of that. You sound so blatantly arrogant and ignorant that I wonder if this is ragebait.
I’m sorry to hear your experience, unfortunately it seems very common for non white (especially east asian) immigrants in Japan. Now more than ever given the state of things, but all cultures seem to have some level of xenophobia. The “just endure” it is a very Japanese sentiment so I understand why you’re getting that advice. Due to how the police function, fighting back isn’t usually a great idea, especially if you’re a woman. So I’d suggest ignoring what you can, and only giving pushback when necessary. Like from an employer or coworker for example. You don’t want to be deported via a detention facility over an avoidable minor scuffle, even if you’re in the right. Best of luck, while it’s unfortunate, the world isn’t usually fair it seems.
I don’t mean to down-play your frustration, but being east asian, how the hell did another cyclist spot you riding a bike and know immediately that you’re a foreigner?
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