Long vent post coming:
Currently living in Kanagawa, before that Kansai then Canada for a year, now Kanagawa. The few times I’ve hung out with other foreigners, specifically men 2/3 times I have been threatened with extreme violence (murder and rape) as a “joke.”
I’m honestly at a loss, confused and scared as to why this is happening.
The first time was when I just arrived to Kanagawa and my guarantor who is the exact same age as me offered to show me around the area I lived in because there’s this sort of mini amusement park a short train ride away, and I said sure because I thought when this is a good way to make a new friend and also connections within this region
he was also clear that it wasn’t a date and that I wasn’t his type, the entire day he insults my appearance. My clothes tells me I’m not cute that I need to dress cuter talks about how easy it would be to kill me because I am so small and petite and he was taller than me…He wasn’t even that much tall taller than me. He was probably like 175 cm or shorter but he would keep bringing up like throwing me into traffic pushing me into traffic how easy it would just be to murder me.
Then yesterday I went out on a date with a guy from Bumble.
We went to eat food and then went to the mall at one point during the date after he tries to tell me that I owe him sex because I’ve gone on a date with him that men need sex that if he doesn’t get sex with the end of the date then
I’ve wasted his time. He says he’s gonna rape me. I very soon start crying at that point into what he says it’s a joke,
It really didn’t feel like a joke. He also said some other things that were pretty horrible and sexually violent.
I’ve reported these men, the first one to his workplace, the other to the app itself.
I’m going to these areas in the daytime when there’s a lot of families out children highschoolers yesterday there was a baseball game so there was like a whole bunch of people at the mall, families’s couples foreigners who came to see the baseball game the previous time it was an amusement park so obviously a lot of children and families even some elderly people who were there to look at flowers and the aquarium
I’m just confused as to why this is happening, I don’t understand how men can feel so comfortable saying these things and then just saying it it’s a joke, and yeah, back home I’ve been sexually harassed. Have people say some pretty terrible things to me, but just the fact that these two things have happened in a short amount of time has really shaken me and made me feel like I honestly don’t even wanna go outside anymore.
I don’t wanna leave my apartment. I’m genuinely very scared at this point and I don’t really know what to do other than like just try to forget these incidents and move on.
I’m wondering if maybe other people have experience this from other foreigners cause it’s basically just foreigner on foreigner hate and I’m kind of feeling like oh yeah maybe the racist fucking Japanese people being like all foreigners get out have a point because I’ve been threatened with both murder and sexual violence to my face in broad daylight and crowded areas by men and yeah, I’ve been sexually harassed by Japanese men, but none of them have threatened my life or threatened to harm me physically…
I’m just kind of venting cause I need someone to talk to.
I literally woke up with my heart pounding in my chest this morning after what happened yesterday and I know I just need to put this in the back of my mind move on keep going,
but also, I feel so afraid and at this point i want to go back to being a hikikomori no matter how isolating a terrible that life style is, it is is honestly feeling really tempting right now because again as I said, I just feel very scared. I don’t understand why this is happening. I don’t understand why it’s happening in broad daylight and supposedly family friendly areas where there are a lot of people.
People say like to minimize the risk of being sexually harassed or harassed in general being in public places meet in the daylight I’m doing all those things and still I’m being threatened so terribly and it is by people who are also foreigners, I wonder if it’s because I am short and petite in size that like men think they can just say whatever the fuck they want to me and I’m not gonna do shit. I’m not gonna report anything because I’m small in men’s heads being short, equates to being submissive and easy to push around.
I can’t think of anything. I’m doing to bring this up upon myself.
The first person was literally my guarantor who helped me secure my apartment. The other was just a date from Bumble. None of these things happened at night.
There is no alcohol involved, no secluded or isolated places, so I don’t know how to even stop this from happening other than never leaving my apartment again…
by Mammoth_Maize_1424