Anyone else lowkey stuck in Japan?

41 comments

1. With all my pension and savings in Japanese yen I’m kind of stuck seeing how it would be worth nothing if I convert it to my home currency. Also I just bought an apartment. So I’m choosing to be stuck here. 

2. Similar but without the toxic work. It’s more that I know I need to go back home because Japan with the cheap Yen is financial suicide for me, but it’s so convenient and comfortable here and lifestyle is not too bad..

3. Sure, but the grass isn’t always greener.

   You say you want to continue your studies in the US, but to what end? You say you want to grow, but perhaps growth is overrated? Maybe comfort is more important?

   Being as young as you are you still have time and options, but thinking about your value priorities in life could probably help you get “unstuck”, or at the very least, at least deliberately choose to remain stuck.

4. Add a DV marriage and I’m the same

5. I’m wrapping up my third year and I’m done too…I found an awesome job in SA and I am so excited to get out of this loop lol

6. You’re not actually stuck here from what you described.

   I am actually stuck here. I’m pretty fed up with Japan, but I have a Japanese wife now. If we want to move, we’re either stuck waiting on her US Green Card application or my ancestry-based EU citizenship application. Can’t really go anywhere until either application makes progress.

7. 34M here.  I have been in Japan since 18 years old, completing a 4 year degree here and now being in the work force for 12 years.  

   I’ve been “over” life in Tokyo/Chiba for a while now, but now my whole life is here, I have little connection to the US, all of my adult milestones happened here, and my media consumption paints the US as a place of growing uncertainty.  

   In two years, half my entire life will have been in Japan. And now I’m less energetic about uprooting everything and leaving.  

   Not sure what to say.  But that’s my story.  

   At some point I gave up thinking of living in Japan as an interesting choice, and see it more of where I happened to settle down and that’s that.  

8. >I’m trapped in the world’s safest convenience store simulation

   Well said. I hit a point where the toxic work was just not bearable anymore. As much as I love everything else about this country/city. My plane takes off on June first.

9. I would say its just adult life, not specific to Japan / Tokyo. Moving could make you break your monotone life, there is no saying you wont get into another loop in another country.

10. I went overseas in 1995 “for just a year”. I’m still overseas. Funny where life takes you.

    If you want to stay in Japan and get a degree, there are plenty of online options so you can still be moving forward while staying in Tokyo.

    If you’re interested in an MS in Computer Science, the Georgia Tech program is relatively inexpensive and well-regarded. I graduated a few years ago. There is a group of us here in Tokyo and we meet a few times a year if you’re interested in learning more.

    LINK: [https://omscs.gatech.edu/](https://omscs.gatech.edu/)

11. 

12. What is your work/career?

    If you are an English teacher, congratulations! You have realized the trap at the right time.

    I’ve been here over 20 years. There are great things about Tokyo (my favorite city) but there are a lot of downsides to Japan as well. In my view, what sucks people in is that Japan is *profoundly* good a few things (urban safety, urban cleanliness, transport, exciting and random shops, dating can be really fun), but actually pretty bad at some other things. And those things really do matter.

    Now, if you are an eikaiwa teacher, it’s even more of a trap in that you really don’t have a career. You have a terminal job, and one that is made for young people. You look good, you feel good, you have low expectations *right now* about earnings, and your life is simple. Not meant for long term and that is why you see disillusioned 45 y/o guys at The Hub trying to pick up J-girls while their wife is at home.

    Anyway, I would suggest looking long-term and making your move. If you are in ESL, this guy’s recommendation would be to move on and advance in a career, build experience, earning power, wealth.

13. I can just give you one recommendation, if you want to do things outside of Japan do them before it is too late and you are actually stuck living here. There are many people I’ve met who wanted to go back home and got stuck in Japan as they got older and their current situation just didn’t allowed them to go back and they regret that. So just a piece of advise as you are still young and not really stuck just in your comfort zone

14. Can say I’m in the same boat.
    Been here for 5 years now and it’s gotten repetitive.
    Even though I work for a decently huge company the work is fine but there’s no growth.
    Cooking everyday is a hassle as combini food has become boring.
    Even though I worked my ass off for coming here, cleared N2 and everything, the comfort here is just making me lazy and non-productive.
    Socializing is too tiring and even though I know quite a few people here, I can’t call them true friends.
    Stuck in the same loop of work-workout-gaming-traveling(on weekends), but there’s almost nothing that excites me anymore.
    Even though the pay is better than my home country, I can’t wait to head back home to spend time with family.

15. Originally planed the same thing; work here 4-5 years then either return to Europe or move to Canada.
    Fast forward today, a house mortgage and two kids, there’s no way I would change my life I built here.

    And now seeing the shitshow it is back in France, where it takes 6 months + to see an eye doctor and the overall state of the country, I feel like pasture is greener here.

16. Pretty sure that’s every English teacher who has been here over 1 year.

17. I’m from England so not an expert. But my partner is from the US. We could possibly go there but I don’t want to. The healthcare system, the guns and how emboldaned the orange baboon manchild has made hateful people make it seem very…
    Scary

18. Aren’t we all just stuck somewhere? Might as well be stuck where you like the most.

    Also getting a masters in your field online is so easy at this point. Stay in Tokyo and work on your masters online.

19. Why not get a Master’s degree in Japan? There are many English language programs.

20. Not meant to be a dig, but it sounds like you never really had a plan, but just didn’t want to go to grad school.

    You never mentioned a timeline or details such as how much your Japanese improved or any success in career advancement; I think the cage may be your mind, not Tokyo.

    OP: If I am wrong, correct me.

21. Trust me, you’re way better in Tokyo or anywhere in Japan than in the political and social mess that the US is right now.

22. That doesn’t sound stuck, that sounds like you’ve found a groove and a rut at the same time.

    If life works in Japan but there’s a shit job situation, I’d be inclined to fix that and look at studying there rather than returning to the US.

23. I think this is more of a function of your age than the area you’re in. For what it’s worth, I felt the same in the US when I was your age. I’m still in the US and my life is similar. 

    Monday:
    Gym -> toxic work that keeps me hours longer than intended -> shitty commute -> home just hours before bedtime -> eat, take care of house, go to sleep later than planned

    Tuesday:
    Wake up later than planned because yesterday was railroaded -> toxic work -> plan to go to gym in evening -> work keeps me later than planned -> shitty commute home -> bed later

    Then when we get to Friday, I’m just wiped and most of the weekend is spent taking care of the apartment and getting things in order (like meal prep) for the next week. 

    At least you have the benefit of a collective society and a place that offers peace in many places. Here right now, it feels like the gov is actively trying to kill us or convince us to kill ourselves. 

24. Why emotionally dangerous?

25. luxury problems 😅
    a good friend was just forced to go back to the US even though he got N2 but he still couldn’t find a job granting a Visa and all the English teacher jobs told him it’s to much of a hassle changing his student visa to a work visa so he should go back first and then come back again which he can’t as he doesn’t have the money.

    I also need to leave soon, couldn’t manage N2 and even though I seemingly can talk rather well my Japanese is not good enough for a work Visa.

    loved Living in Japan even though I also understand that after several years it just gets “normal” and even boring.
    but wanting to go back to an America with Trump? sounds very ridiculous

26. Schools like Kyoto University and Hitotsubashi offer an English speaking MBA, could be something to consider especially given that it’ll cost you about 90万円 a year instead of the US’s $80k.

27. I was kind of in your situation before: at the end of my 20s, having spent my adult life in Tokyo, and on the fence about whether to stay or go to grad school somewhere else. I got the feeling that it was “now or never”–I either leave Japan and try something else now, or I’ll end up staying here forever because life is so comfortable/has an ambient level of fun that was just “enough” for me.

    In the end I chose to risk it and leave. I felt like I hadn’t seen enough of the world yet, and I could always come back, right? Retrospectively that was totally the right decision for me. I went to grad school in a third country and ended up staying in that part of the world for 15 years, experiencing new cultures, meeting all kinds of people, and doing all kinds of fun and crazy things that I would have never done if I had remained here in the Tokyo rat race. I eventually “grew up”, did some adulty stuff (marriage, property purchasing), and now here I am in Tokyo again. Looking back, I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like had I stayed.

    Everyone is different, and the world is also a different place now. But based on the short description of your situation, I’d say that if you’re not in love with your life here and now, then why not make the jump and try something else?

28. What does lowkey actually mean? Sort of? kind of? On the verge?

29. What don’t you like about your current routine? Is it work? Lack of social connections? All of these can be solved to some extent.

    A lot of people never really do anything interesting with their time. I noticed you don’t mention anything creative in your message. Arts, crafts and experiences is what makes being human worth it.

    Get a new hobby, learn about something new. Do you really need a graduate degree to learn? If you really wanted to learn about a topic you can already do it. I don’t think this is it.

    When you’re stuck in a rut, what you need is get some fresh air and see things from a different perspective.

30. If you are not all in on Japan, then better start planning your exit strategy asap. The longer you stay, the harder it is to get out.

31. Push yourself to get out and go get that paper. Then come back with a higher paying job and an even more comfortable life here.

32. Isn’t adulthood like that everywhere??
    I mean, I was also doing the same in mx, but here at least is easier to travel. Also, I had friends even in mx that were busy and couldn’t see them for years. I was almost usually always hanging out with the same ones. Which is what happens here

33. Im highkey making myself stuck here bcs pretty sure my country will collapse soon

34. 30M – came to japan 4 years ago, studied japanese, got engineering job, still have less money then when I came here (clown face).

    I feel that I more financially stuck here than anything else.
    Japan just give me the feeling of I can’t get fired in this current tech layoff market.

35. You’re not trapped in Japan. You’re trapped in you.

36. You’re 26, single, and feel stuck? Lol. Wait til you are married with kids and have a 40 year mortgage. You can’t leave, or even find a new job/career because even back home you’d be too old to hire.

    You can talk about stuck in 30 years. You are nowhere near stuck.

37. 40F, ex-tech worker here…

    I feel like your decision will really boil down to where in the US you want to move to… It’s EXPENSIVE to live in America right now. It feels like everyone is scraping by. Prices are beyond inflated.

    Also, don’t take your decision to pursue graduate school lightly. As someone who has amassed hundreds of thousands in student loan debt, I def don’t recommend living off of student loans if you are thinking about doing grad school that way. It’s a trap. The tech industry is volatile. AI has made tech related positions evaporate very quickly and the landscape changes very rapidly.

    I grew up in Japan till age 12 and have lived in the US since. Every time I go back home to Japan to visit family I wish I lived there. Things just… make sense. Systems work, logistics are efficient, beautiful nature everywhere… Long term, especially aging in Japan seems like it will be a lot cheaper, because they have a better healthcare system than the US.

    All that said… where is your community? Where do your friends live? That will become really important later in life as well. So many things to think about!

    I fantasize about moving to Japan every day. Granted, I have never worked in Japan.

38. Don’t get stuck here. I am on many years here and came for school too. Met a girl and went back finished school and came back to continue my relationship and got married and then life went the way it did. I stayed here so my son could be Japanese and then just kept staying. My son is 20 and is on his own road and I’m preparing to leave back to states with no plan. I suppose plan your self out is fine and all but don’t stop moving or you might find the years pass faster than you think. Good luck OP

39. Waiter! My lobster is too buttery!

40. Some advice I can maybe give you, because I used to think the exact same way.

    At one point I realized I had to make a real decision: am I building my life in Tokyo, or am I eventually going back to the US? Once I stopped treating Japan like a temporary stop, everything changed. I started investing in property, building a better career, creating deeper long-term friendships, traveling more with those friends, and actually building a lifestyle instead of just “existing abroad.”

    A lot of people from the US and other Western countries come to Asia, especially Japan, thinking it’s only for a few years. They work, drift around, and tell themselves they’ll eventually go back home. But for a lot of people, that “temporary phase” quietly turns into 5, 10, 15 years. Living in limbo like that honestly sucks.

    If you’re going to stay in Japan, commit to it and build a future here. If you truly want to go back to the US, then make a plan and go. But make a decision. The longer you stay mentally stuck between two lives, the harder it becomes to feel settled in either one.

    Whatever you choose, choose it fully and don’t keep looking backward.

41. I’ve been “stuck” here for 15+ years now and spent a large part of my 20’s in Japan. Tbh it’s not a bad place to be in, but if you have any wishlist or bucket list things I suggest to do them sooner rather than later. Being in such a comfortable position makes you put off things which you might regret later when you get older and more tied down with life… I certainly had some.

    I’d say go for that grad school dream, you could always find a way back to Japan, especially when you’re still young (though that’s not 100% certain like everything else isn’t). You could choose a program that would have demand in Japan which will give you a route back.

    Either way, I think stepping out of the comfort zone for a bit could give you a new perspective, and perhaps more opportunities. And if after going through that you still think Japan is the better place to be, you’d have more conviction rather than regret of not doing something you once wished to do. Hope this helps 😌

    p.s. if you ever need an extra bag in your golfing party lemme know 😂🏌️‍♂️

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