For starters, this is a throwaway because I don't want details on my personal life attached to my main account's username.
I'm 17 years old and turning 18 in December. I'm currently a junior in a high school in the United States and, due to my family and other personal circumstance, I will most likely wind up in Japan late summer or early fall, permanently. I can't control this very much at all and I'm already pretty scared about it. They are not entirely inconsiderate people but have their own endeavors, to avoid going into personal information. They also aren't concerned with "uprooting" me because I'm not a social person in general, I don't have a particular urge to make connections with others, so I wont be missing out much on the senior year experience and whatnot. Which I suppose is why they think this is a fine idea. My main goal in life right now is to, at the very least, go to college. Academically, I'm a high performer.
There are no extended family members in the US I could stay with.
What I am concerned with is what to do with the rest of my life. I do not speak a lick of Japanese, and I would NOT want to just skate on by without trying to learn. I don't want to seem like an asshole who just shows up, doesn't assimilate, etc…. However, I'm aware that it is a very difficult language to pick up… sort of like learning three languages in one. In case this helps provide a frame of reference for any advice you all could give me, I tend to be a very quick learner. I think language studies are especially interesting. My first language was Russian, I'm entirely fluent in English, and I self-taught myself very high level Spanish within a year. This is Reddit so obviously you don't have to believe me, but if anyone does take the time to answer, this is just some more information about myself. But I don't want to undermine the difficulties that come with picking up Japanese. It's totally different from what else I've learned. It's just that if anyone has more rigorous recommendations for learning, I will definitely undertake them.
My family isn't keen on sending me to an international school. They're upper-class but not rich-rich and they don't like shilling out money on me when I can get by some other way. I also know I wouldn't be able to attend a public high school, even if I somehow magically learned the language very quickly, because you can't graduate unless you do all three years there… and because they're optional, and they have entrance exams, so they have no real reason to let me in if I'm not 100% up to par. Basically, I've already researched these options to some degree. My idea at the moment would be finishing my final year of education via American virtual school, and take in-person language classes throughout that year so I'm consistently learning Japanese at the same time. I could even take a gap year and do a second year of language studies, I guess. I think I'd want to go to college there if I'm already going to be there and learning the language, instead of trying to come all the way back to the US. I've heard some colleges in Japan have tracks for English speakers but I don't know a whole lot about that and would appreciate being told more. And if anyone has any suggestions in general, they would be appreciated.
Another thing is that my family would want to travel around a lot, whereas I'm not big on moving around, especially if I'm going to be in a completely new place. They had the grand idea of getting me some small apartment to just stay in myself. I don't really have opinions on this but it just seems hard to pull off? Especially since I'll be a minor for the first few months. If anyone knows about the laws or logistics around this, let me know.
Again, I don't have much say in this at all. I don't really need any advice on the fact this is a bad idea. I already know that. It's a process, but this is worst-case scenario preparation. I want to feel prepared for whatever happens and this is the main possibility in my life right now, so I need help with figuring out these logistics.
Apologies if I used the wrong flair (maybe I misinterpreted "logistics" in this sense) and thank you for reading through.
by Actual_Assistance364
5 comments
As you’ve found in your research local Japanese high schools aren’t going to be an option for you. Your idea of a virtual school is probably the best (only?) option if they’re unable/unwilling to put you in an international school.
As for the apartment: As long as your parents/guardians are legal residents in Japan (AKA: Not tourists) they can sign the papers to rent the apartment for you.
The biggest issue here is the one that neither you nor your parents seem to have picked up on yet, or at least you didn’t mention it here: Visas. Specifically ***your*** visa. You’re currently a minor, which means that you can come as their dependent. However once you turn 18 it will become much harder to convince immigration to consider you a dependent, especially considering you won’t be attending school in Japan.
If the apartment lease is under your parents and you’re listed as one of the tenants, I don’t see anything wrong there even if you live there just and parents don’t. And, sorry to hear about your situation. There’s also “Upper Secondary School Equivalency Examination” https://www.mext.go.jp/component/a_menu/education/detail/__icsFiles/afieldfile/2019/05/13/1291562_02.pdf you can look into it https://www.mext.go.jp/a_menu/koutou/shiken/index.htm but afaik it’s only in Japanese so you still have a way to attend college if you get good at Japanese.
Temple University Japan (TUJ) is in Tokyo and gives you educational credits for both Japan and America once you complete high school. If you feel ready, you could also just get your GED and be done with high school completely. At the very least, you won’t be homeless or starving in Japan since you will be with family. It should give you some breathing room to figure the other stuff out. I know it seems scary right now, but I think you will end up having a great time out there ultimately. Good luck!
Counter point. If you’re almost 18, you don’t need to follow them. You’d be a legal adult in the US and could continue whatever life you want there. Have you tried the…
” I want to stay and finish high school in america. Because unless youre going to pay for international school, there’s no way I’ll be able to attend a public school not speaking the language. “
I am very very sorry for your situation. Honestly if I were you, if there is no option to stay back home without your parents, I would go home the minute you finish highschool through virtual means and go to non-JP universities. I don’t think allocating your precious study time to acquiring a completely language and struglling in a new environment, especially completely alone, when you are an academically high achiever is worth it. This isn’t something you should waste your time and mental health on when you are 17~18. You should be focusing on your studies unless you really wanted to on your volition, which is not what this situation is about.
I do not want to sound like a negative nancy so I just want to mention that this is just my experience and I believe you would manage things much more better than me. But I was also an “unconventional teen” in Japan (was fortunate enough for international school). While I was in the campus, I felt okay. But the moment I stepped outside, I knew I was not normal and like the whole country was out to get me. After graduation, fitting in to the JP society was and still is rough, and this is someone who had never stepped out of Japan and had two full JP parents. I’m just saying that Japan is a very very isolating place, even for someone who is not very social, and that could really Get you and Ruin you.
If you are an adult here for a new experience that’s awesome, but if you are a kid dragged here, no school no work so not many way to make friends, I really worry for your mental health abd physical wellbeing. At the very absolute least, your parents should be there in the same house with you. Frankly I think your parents are underestimating the costs (as opposed to you staying alone back home) and this all sounds like an unorganized mess that would possibly ruin your life.
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