Is this another thread about Japanese women somehow all suddenly turning into monsters after marriage?
Always pick someone with a sense of moral to date no matter where you are.
>but are just better at hiding it.
So smarter then?
I’ve dated a bunch of women here in Japan, and none of them cheated.
I don’t really like these “all women of a certain culture are like X” threads. Please watch how you phrase things.
If you poke them behind the knee, they sneeze.
1/3 of people cheat in Japan.
1/3 of people cheat in the west.
It’s not cultural. Some people are just scumbags.
As for stuff I wish I knew, I didn’t realise how nuts about cafes some are. Idk if it’s common but a few I’ve met will cafe hop as if it were a bar crawl.
How about Japanese people in general?
Anyway, I wish I had been more aware of the fact that even though I felt what I said was 100% understandable it’s possible the way I meant for it to be portrayed was possibly not how they understood it.
Also, it’s possible that even though they didn’t understand it they’re uncomfortable with saying that. Or even better, they think they understand and we just go about our business. This is not exclusive to Japanese people however.
To everyone who’s indignant that OP would dare to try to better understand a particular gender of a particular culture: you’re the reason why this sub is full of divorce posts.
The majority of Japanese women I met think watching tv and scrolling on their phone is a genuine hobby.
Some women haven’t had any luck with the dating game so they are happy you have their attention.
Some women don’t have any preference in a partner so foreigners are OK until they realize there are some quirks about you they have never encountered before.
Some women don’t care about where you are from until they start thinking about the future and either stay with you until divorce or ghost you immediately.
Some women are independent but need a man to fulfill societal expectations or extra money for a stable lifestyle.
Some women are happy to have you and will make that well known every day or every hour depending on how obsessed they are with you.
The examples above may not have happened to me but have happened to people I have known not exclusively to Japan but around the world. Please take caution and find out as much as possible about to whomever you press lips with.
I regret nothing
That they’re not a bunch of cultural stereotypes you can just generalize about. /s
They’re women, human beings exactly like the ones from your home country. Not some sort of alien or unicorn, as ~~incels~~ a certain kind of people on internet like to fantasize about. This is actually the only thing you should know.
Getting ghosted means she doesn’t like you and doesn’t have the courage to say it to your face. Just move on.
It doesn’t mean try harder or beg for forgiveness.
Married. The simple answer, nothing that you couldn’t find out by talking to them.
Long answer. One of my buddies was real obsessed with this topic. He’d ask me about all of these ‘cultural differences,’ thoughts of raising kids, etc, etc…. How could we possibility talk about all of these things? Spend time together. Go out for a walk and see a mom give her kid the good ol’ Japanese love tap. Look at my wife and say something like ‘yeah… I don’t really think that’s a cool thing to do. What do you think?’ I’ll end it there.
This thread isn’t going to be misogynistic at all…
Hard to generalize half a country, but to avoid gaijin hunters like the plague I guess.
The amount of bullshit pressure that Japanese society puts on women.
It wasn’t so noticable to me early in our relationship, but having been married for 20 years now I’ve gained a much greater deal of respect for the bullshit that women have to put up with here from watching my wife have to deal with it.
In the workplace, in the neighborhood, at our kids’ schools – pretty much everywhere. Double standards, unreasonable expectations and demand, unwarranted criticism, etc etc. Us guys don’t get anywhere near as much of that as they do.
My wife’s sister cheated on her husband with another man. She has two children with a 3rd one on the way, which is doubtful to be from her current husband’s.
The neighbor of said sister, with five children, also cheated on her husband. The husband fled as soon as he found it out, the neighbor has to take care of the 5 children by herself.
My work colleague who sits two tables behind me cheated on her husband with our buchou, and she’s now divorced. Buchou is still married to another woman who works in another division within the same company, and she’s also fucking the production manager. Sodom and Gomorrah
My ex-girlfriend didn’t cheat on me, but she did cheat on her boyfriend that she had in Osaka with me.
People here say not to generalize or stereotype, but I’d be really careful with the dating scene in this country. If you’re looking for something serious, make sure it’s a person with a solid moral foundation. Which applies for any part of the world, actually.
Looking through the responses, I feel that [perhaps unwritten] rule of of this sub is that generalization questions are not welcome.
Maybe this Q needs to be locked down or removed.
I’ve gotta be honest here.
I think most of us have struggled with dating here because of cultural differences and whilst some girls have some similarities in behavior, a thread saying that all the women here are the same is not a productive one.
As with any country there are trends as well when it comes to dating.
I’ve noticed recently on dating apps that women likes to post their personality test result (the famous one) on their profile.
In my home country is to write what you identify as.
The only thing that I can say is that I don’t think “traveling” is a hobby nor is it something I find interesting about you. Everyone likes traveling (more or less anyways).
Stop engaging in stereotyping behavior or making generalizations!!!!
If they ask you for money to go on dates with you, they may well be a prostitute.
*GASP!!*
Women here aren’t much different from back home. If you surround yourself with good people you’ll meet good people.
24 comments
Is this another thread about Japanese women somehow all suddenly turning into monsters after marriage?
Always pick someone with a sense of moral to date no matter where you are.
>but are just better at hiding it.
So smarter then?
I’ve dated a bunch of women here in Japan, and none of them cheated.
I don’t really like these “all women of a certain culture are like X” threads. Please watch how you phrase things.
If you poke them behind the knee, they sneeze.
1/3 of people cheat in Japan.
1/3 of people cheat in the west.
It’s not cultural. Some people are just scumbags.
As for stuff I wish I knew, I didn’t realise how nuts about cafes some are. Idk if it’s common but a few I’ve met will cafe hop as if it were a bar crawl.
How about Japanese people in general?
Anyway, I wish I had been more aware of the fact that even though I felt what I said was 100% understandable it’s possible the way I meant for it to be portrayed was possibly not how they understood it.
Also, it’s possible that even though they didn’t understand it they’re uncomfortable with saying that. Or even better, they think they understand and we just go about our business. This is not exclusive to Japanese people however.
To everyone who’s indignant that OP would dare to try to better understand a particular gender of a particular culture: you’re the reason why this sub is full of divorce posts.
The majority of Japanese women I met think watching tv and scrolling on their phone is a genuine hobby.
are you just angry that the [girl you dated 4 months ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/LearnJapanese/comments/y136n1/%E3%81%8A%E3%81%93%E3%81%9A%E3%81%8B%E3%81%84%E3%81%AE%E6%84%8F%E5%91%B3/) wouldn’t go out with you unless you paid her?
Some women haven’t had any luck with the dating game so they are happy you have their attention.
Some women don’t have any preference in a partner so foreigners are OK until they realize there are some quirks about you they have never encountered before.
Some women don’t care about where you are from until they start thinking about the future and either stay with you until divorce or ghost you immediately.
Some women are independent but need a man to fulfill societal expectations or extra money for a stable lifestyle.
Some women are happy to have you and will make that well known every day or every hour depending on how obsessed they are with you.
The examples above may not have happened to me but have happened to people I have known not exclusively to Japan but around the world. Please take caution and find out as much as possible about to whomever you press lips with.
I regret nothing
That they’re not a bunch of cultural stereotypes you can just generalize about. /s
They’re women, human beings exactly like the ones from your home country. Not some sort of alien or unicorn, as ~~incels~~ a certain kind of people on internet like to fantasize about. This is actually the only thing you should know.
Getting ghosted means she doesn’t like you and doesn’t have the courage to say it to your face. Just move on.
It doesn’t mean try harder or beg for forgiveness.
Married. The simple answer, nothing that you couldn’t find out by talking to them.
Long answer. One of my buddies was real obsessed with this topic. He’d ask me about all of these ‘cultural differences,’ thoughts of raising kids, etc, etc…. How could we possibility talk about all of these things? Spend time together. Go out for a walk and see a mom give her kid the good ol’ Japanese love tap. Look at my wife and say something like ‘yeah… I don’t really think that’s a cool thing to do. What do you think?’ I’ll end it there.
This thread isn’t going to be misogynistic at all…
Hard to generalize half a country, but to avoid gaijin hunters like the plague I guess.
The amount of bullshit pressure that Japanese society puts on women.
It wasn’t so noticable to me early in our relationship, but having been married for 20 years now I’ve gained a much greater deal of respect for the bullshit that women have to put up with here from watching my wife have to deal with it.
In the workplace, in the neighborhood, at our kids’ schools – pretty much everywhere. Double standards, unreasonable expectations and demand, unwarranted criticism, etc etc. Us guys don’t get anywhere near as much of that as they do.
My wife’s sister cheated on her husband with another man. She has two children with a 3rd one on the way, which is doubtful to be from her current husband’s.
The neighbor of said sister, with five children, also cheated on her husband. The husband fled as soon as he found it out, the neighbor has to take care of the 5 children by herself.
My work colleague who sits two tables behind me cheated on her husband with our buchou, and she’s now divorced. Buchou is still married to another woman who works in another division within the same company, and she’s also fucking the production manager. Sodom and Gomorrah
My ex-girlfriend didn’t cheat on me, but she did cheat on her boyfriend that she had in Osaka with me.
People here say not to generalize or stereotype, but I’d be really careful with the dating scene in this country. If you’re looking for something serious, make sure it’s a person with a solid moral foundation. Which applies for any part of the world, actually.
Looking through the responses, I feel that [perhaps unwritten] rule of of this sub is that generalization questions are not welcome.
Maybe this Q needs to be locked down or removed.
I’ve gotta be honest here.
I think most of us have struggled with dating here because of cultural differences and whilst some girls have some similarities in behavior, a thread saying that all the women here are the same is not a productive one.
As with any country there are trends as well when it comes to dating.
I’ve noticed recently on dating apps that women likes to post their personality test result (the famous one) on their profile.
In my home country is to write what you identify as.
The only thing that I can say is that I don’t think “traveling” is a hobby nor is it something I find interesting about you. Everyone likes traveling (more or less anyways).
Stop engaging in stereotyping behavior or making generalizations!!!!
If they ask you for money to go on dates with you, they may well be a prostitute.
*GASP!!*
Women here aren’t much different from back home. If you surround yourself with good people you’ll meet good people.