Hello, I just had a quick question. I was ordering food today on a base (for context). There was a Japanese man and woman helping me. They were chatting in Japanese and I wasn’t really thinking too much about it. The lady helping me was saying ma’am a lot, but again at this time, I wasn’t really thinking too much about it. Finally we are wrapping up the order and she asks me a question. I replied “No ma’am” and the Japanese guy audibly scoffed. They were still nice but definitely made me feel weird, especially because the woman used it for me. For context, I’m from the South in the USA. I grew up saying it so it’s almost automatic and I’m not thinking about it, it will just come out.
Idk, the gentlemen’s reaction just kind of shook me because I felt like I did something wrong. If I need to adjust the way I speak please let me know.
Edit: they were either around my age (30’s) or older if that matters at all.
by Mental_Profession101
5 comments
I once had a JASDF gate guard accuse me of wanting to fight him because I couldn’t hear what he said and I replied “say again?” and he said that it allegedly means I want to fight him in Japanese lol. People are weird I wouldn’t think much of it.
Maybe not the “ma’am” part, could be the harsh, direct use of “no” instead of a soft peddled gentle rejection typical of japanese society ( think eeeeeeehhhhto, or a deep breath with a considered sigh first!)
I think you are now overthinking it. No Japanese base employee is getting butt-hurt by hearing “no” or hearing “ma’am/sir”….Japanese culture does not have a stick that far up its ass. It’s not like you are chatting with the imperial court. I’m going to guess you misread the situation. Let’s drop the mystery and where was this awkward encounter?
disclaimer, huge generalization: expect a shock reaction from everything. I blame NHK.
There isn’t a single woman under the age of 65 who wants to be referred to as ma’am.