I didn't believe you guys but now I do.
My neighbor is, as far as I can tell, a divorcee. When she has the kids, her kids are rather noisy and it's obvious that they're home (not that I really care because they're young and go to bed early), but there are definitely times when she's just at home by herself because I hear/see her come home, no kids, so seems like a shared custody thing.
Why does this matter? Well, recently, she's had a fella over and they are LOUD. Think of the squealiest, squeakiest JAV girl you've ever heard, and that's the noise she makes. Okay, it's only ever once or twice a week and doesn't usually last more than ~20 mins, so I just sort of put up with it. I was happy for her, sounds like she's having fun.
Well… my wife is staying at her sister's house for the next couple weeks because her sister just gave birth and my wife is helping out with that situation, so I'm at home alone.
Apparently, our landlord sent an email to my wife letting her know that residents are complaining about all the loud sex we're having. My wife replied and said it wasn't our unit. That was a week ago. Today, the landlord replied and said that he had determined that the noise was definitely coming from our unit and that the complaints were increasing.
So not only are we being blamed for something we're not doing, but my wife is understandably a little rattled when the landlord insists that he's determined loud sex noises are coming from the apartment while she's not here. She believes me over our landlord, but I'm more than a little pissed off.
Normally, this is the kind of thing I would I would ignore and I would tell the landlord to go pound sand, if this were back in my home country. But I'm not sure what the correct thing to do is here. Should I record a video to "prove" that it's not coming from my apartment? Seems rather absurd. Can I just ignore it?
Edit: I think I'm going to take a video of the noise next time it happens even if it's just to show my wife. I'm sure she trusts me but it would also be nice to put her mind at ease and she'll probably find it funny (the noises are quite ridiculous). I'm not sure I should show it to the landlord, though.
by SemiUrusaii
44 comments
Whenever you hear it go ring their door bell…
Wait till you hear the noise and record a video of yourself chilling on the couch and pointing in the general direction of the noise. Bonus points if you have a classy cardigan and are reading a book with a glass of wine next to you.
If you collect evidence that it’s not you, I would definitely share it with your landlord and demand that he contacts those who have complained to accuse you to alert them he’s determined it’s not you and he’s deeply apologetic for the misunderstanding.
You and your wife are being defamed in a whole host of ways—her that your neighbors believe she’s making loud sex noises and you that the landlord has insisted to your wife that you’re having an affair.
I’d make a recording as well as insisting that if the landlord believes it to me and they have somehow confirmed it to be coming from my unit, that they ring my doorbell the next time it occurs so that either I can see for myself wtf they’re talking about, or so that I can show them all of the nothing going on in my unit.
It’s true that anti-foreigner sentiment has been rising lately in Japan, but in this case, it’s too early to assume you’re being targeted *because* you’re a “gaijin.”
Even as a Japanese person, I’ve received noise-complaint letters a few times myself — and, like you, I just ignored them. Let’s wait and see how things develop.
If you get the chance, record a short video capturing the noise; it could be useful later.
If the neighbor’s behavior escalates, talk to your landlord or go to the police for help.
But **don’t** go ringing their doorbell — that almost always makes things worse, and you’ll probably regret it. The moment you do that, even your landlord might start seeing you as *“the gaijin who causes trouble.”*
Take a video of course,….but it is possible, invite the landlord over for tea or something when your neighbor has her fella over,….and then ask him what noises were people complaining about.
Honestly, reading all those japanlife posts about neighbor troubles makes me feel so glad to have opted for a detached house.
I feel for you OP, that really sucks.
How did the landlord ‘determine’ it was you in spite of your saying it wasn’t? I’d go and ask face to face for any proof and then show them the video you absolutely *should* record and *should* show the landlord – they upped the ante and deserve to squirm. Do this preferably in person, hopefully with other staff around, stay calm and ask for an apology (which you should also record if verbal).
>I’m not sure I should show it to the landlord, though
If he sends another email, why not?
most likely one person keeps reporting you for the loud noises for whichever reason they may have. still annoying, but it’s not some sort of conspiracy specifically against you. just some dude who may have racist stereotypes (or sexually enjoys imagining your wife getting plowed by you).
Both make a recording for your records and since it lasts for 20 minutes, call him and invite him over when it is happening so he can hear it himself.
Omg I’m glad your wife isn’t as insecure as me. If that happened to us my neighbours wouldn’t have to worry about having a foreign neighbour any more and Japan would lose the potential for a +2 to the population 😅
Japanese aren’t having sex these days. ***Of course it’s you.*** /s
Yes the trope is real. A drunk uninsured unlicensed oji-san hit my car and they determined it was the fault of me, the sober insured licensed gaijin.
This made my blood boil. Those pricks need a lesson. Video tape yourself alone during those noises and actually take it somewhere so that you can mention it in your next email. I wouldn’t drop the ball. Make it legendary and report back here asap 🙂
Do not secretly record people having sex either audio or otherwise. Even if you’re technically in the right, you could still easily end up in hot water.
You poor bastard.
Leave town for a few weeks on vacation, and have a log of plane/train tickets, submit it and tell the landlord to eat rocks. You can’t be fucking if you’re not even there. (Well technically you can but they wouldn’t be able to hear you if you’re out of town or country)
Is real but not as bad as people make it lol.
Just like you’re home country its just the old person or the person with self esteem issues, but it does exist.
Reply to your edit, show wife, don’t show landlord. If your landlord pursues further you have an iron clad legal defense. It’s perfect.
You could argue about the irresponsibility of this false accusation, since your wife isn’t home and yet there are sex noises coming from your room…
Next time you hear them call police and problem solved for everyone
If you can find a way to definitely show the noise is not caused by you do get that evidence. Save it for the possibility of using it if these accusations continue. You may decide not to use it but at least you will have it.
Additionally, it feeds the stereotype of noisy gaijin which Japanese love to claim. It. Bothers me but I’m keeping my cool.
This is the kind of post I like — any AI or bot could never come up with this.
Definitely record a video and show the date in the video
I mean, to counter your point, I was once trying to make smoked cheese with one of those smoking kits from Daiso. By the way never do that indoors. The fire brigade got called and while I hid the evidence well I was terrified I’d be blamed by default as the only gaijin in the block. Instead, the obachan two doors from me randomly got all the blame.
I’ve been blamed for letting the kids play the piano from early in the morning. Yes, I do have kids and they do make noises, but I don’t own a piano!
People make false accusations (濡れ衣) so if it’s not you, it’s worth explaining that to the landlord. Proving it with a video recording would be even better.
include proof of time in your video. Clock and maybe the news or something.
No but seriously. I would be pissed! Take the video, make sure you can hear the noise, sit on the sofa and write your letter.
My wife is out of town due to family reasons and you have caused her a lot of unnecessary worry due to your incorrect letter. Please write her a written apology, and email the proper tenant telling them to keep it down.
Let’s call it “Shadow Dick!ng”
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OP is pointless
Sound carries weird in apartment buildings, but it’s also likely that the person making complaints did correctly identify the source of the noise and your neighbor is insisting that it wasn’t her, and possibly pointing the finger at you.
They can’t really do anything about it, but I wouldn’t ignore it. Start recording every time, get dates and times, call in noise complaints yourself. Even better, call the police so there’s a paper trail.
Comedy option: Record and then play the recording back loudly when they finish. I bet they will start being quieter.
The foreigners are having loud sex
Updateme
Interested to know what happens when you get vindicated. Good luck OP!
To be fair I had the opposite situation. I was dating this French woman who was more than a little freaky, and she was unable to do the deed quietly. It was a big problem like if we went skiing with friends, I was telling her to try to keep it down and she just couldn’t or wouldn’t.
Anyway my apartment was this 3 story maybe 20 unit place near shinjuku, and sometimes we’d do it with the window open. Maybe that was my bad.
Anyway – there were a couple Japanese women in the building who lived alone and clearly worked in the trades in Kabukicho. Sometimes they’d have some rough looking guys over and we’d all note that at the entrance.
the building manager was a character – old Japanese ex merchant marine guy who truly didn’t give a s*** and liked to punk me.
One day he said he was getting complaints about the mizu shobai girls and their loud sex and he had to deal with it and threw in a comment about their very strange loud noises.
It slowly occurred to me that the loud noises made by a French woman are different from a Japanese woman and that was …my unit.
I was a clean cut foreigner wearing a suit every day so got a pass.
So it’s not always the gaijin, I’m saying.
Recommend the NIOSH app for recording decibel levels
Definitely take the video.
I’d record the noise and probably your TV just to rule out that being an excuse.
Sorry that happens to you, it is silly how Japanese can make assumptions of foreigners when it doesn’t make sense. There were some robberies in our neighborhood and my wife was like, it must be criminal foreign gangs doing it. I pointed out to her that in a country with 98% Japanese and 2% foreigners, statistically it had to be a Japanese person. They caught the guy, and of course he was Japanese.
what if the neighbor’s man is the landlord. “Landlord having loud sex with divorce, decided to blame the gaijin next door”
God I love living in a regular Tokyo concrete tower mansion where you can’t hear jack shit from next door.
Oh, I’d record the hell out of that neighbor if it proves someone wrong.
Please record all the evidence and send it to them in a stern tone. And followed by that, enquire about 誹謗中傷 (defamation). This is just sad
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